Love is a passion so fervid and so deep that we must not wonder if it
has abrupt convulsions and sudden swoons. Accustomed to dwell always in
lofty regions, to have but extreme voluptuousness for nourishment, to
vibrate with the highest notes of sentiment and the delirium of the
senses, it may instantaneously become possessed, when it least expects
it, by unreasonable fears, idiotic suspicions, inexplicable
restlessness. By this I do not mean diffidence, jealousy, disgust, weary
libertinism, or bitter disappointments, but a vague and shapeless fog
that invades the heart which, by feeling too deeply, has become languid
and congeals the nerves exhausted from excessive quivering. It is an
indefinable hysteria which from a slight disorder may develop into a
most intense bitterness.
An immense love, whatever the source of the heart from which it springs
forth, is always followed by the shadow of an infinite fear. You adore
your child; you have left him for five minutes on the lawn or in your
garden, intent on filling his little cart with sand; he was as rosy and
fresh as the flowers near him; as bright as the sun that gilded his
curly locks. Now, while you are seated at your table, you have wished to
call him, I know not why, perhaps to hear the sweet sound of his
silvery voice; and he does not answer you. You call him again, and again
silence. He is utterly absorbed in the ponderous care of his wagon; but
you, flying in a few seconds over a thousand miles of thought, have
imagined that he was dead, that a snake had bitten him, that he had
fallen in a swoon--who knows the fantastic visions that have passed
through your mind! With your heart throbbing, your skin in a
perspiration, you are afraid to rise and wish to defer for a moment the
spectacle of a cruel loss. Of these and greater follies we are given a
sad spectacle every day by that love of loves which alone was called by
this name as the prince and god of all the amorous sentiments.
Neither the most patient and long observation of human phenomena nor the
most lively imagination could enable us to divine all the petty tortures
that lovers inflict upon themselves, perhaps to obey that cruel law
which, according to some persons, has decreed that no one shall be happy
on this planet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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