The Book of the CourtierCastiglione, Baldassarre, conte
History
The Book of the Courtier
Castiglione, Baldassarre, conte
Courtesy -- Early works to 1800; Courts and courtiers -- Early works to 1800
“Thus, in her wish to be thought good and pure, the Lady ought not to be
so coy and seem so to abhor company and talk that are a little free, as
to take her leave as soon as she finds herself therein; for it might
easily be thought that she was pretending to be thus austere in order to
hide something about herself which she feared others might come to know;
and such prudish manners are always odious. Nor ought she, on the other
hand, for the sake of showing herself free and agreeable, to utter
unseemly words or practise a certain wild and unbridled familiarity and
ways likely to make that believed of her which perhaps is not true; but
when she is present at such talk, she ought to listen with a little
blush and shame.
“Likewise she ought to avoid an errour into which I have seen many women
fall, which is that of saying and of willingly listening to evil about
other women. For those women who, on hearing the unseemly ways of other
women described, grow angry thereat and seem to disbelieve it and to
regard it almost monstrous that a woman should be immodest,—they, by
accounting the offence so heinous, give reason to think that they do not
commit it. But those who go about continually prying into other women’s
intrigues, and narrate them so minutely and with such zest, seem to be
envious of them and to wish that everyone may know it, to the end that
like matters may not be reckoned as a fault in their own case; and thus
they fall into certain laughs and ways that show they then feel greatest
pleasure. And hence it comes that men, while seeming to listen gladly,
usually hold such women in small respect and have very little regard for
them, and think these ways of theirs are an invitation to advance
farther, and thus often go such lengths with them as bring them deserved
reproach, and finally esteem them so lightly as to despise their company
and even find them tedious.
“And on the other hand, there is no man so shameless and insolent as not
to have reverence for those women who are esteemed good and virtuous;
because this gravity (tempered with wisdom and goodness) is as it were a
shield against the insolence and coarseness of the presumptuous. Thus we
see that a word or laugh or act of kindness (however small it be) from a
virtuous woman is more prized by everyone, than all the endearments and
caresses of those who show their lack of shame so openly; and if they
are not immodest, by their unseemly laughter, their loquacity, insolence
and like scurrile manners, they give sign of being so.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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