The Boss, and How He Came to Rule New YorkLewis, Alfred Henry
History
The Boss, and How He Came to Rule New York
Lewis, Alfred Henry
New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Political fiction; Politicians -- Fiction
“If you're goin' to put in money, put in enough to win. There's no sense
puttin' in just enough to lose. Th' other fellows will come into th'
district with money enough to burn a wet dog. We've got to break even
with 'em, or they'll have us faded from th' jump.”
“But what can you do with so much?” asked the reputable old gentleman
dismally. “It seems a fortune! What would you do with it?”
“Mass meetin's, bands, beer, torches, fireworks, halls; but most of all,
buy votes.”
“Buy votes!” exclaimed the reputable old gentleman, his cheek paling.
“Buy 'em by th' bunch, like a market girl sells radishes!” Then, seeing
the reputable old gentleman's horror: “How do you s'ppose you're goin'
to get votes? You don't think that these dock-wallopers an' river
pirates are stuck on you personally, do you?”
“But their interest as citizens! I should think they'd look at that!”
“Their first interest as citizens,” observed Big Kennedy, with a cynical
smile, “is a five-dollar bill.”
“But do you think it right to purchase votes?” asked the reputable old
gentleman, with a gasp.
“Is it right to shoot a man? No. Is it right to shoot a man if he's
shootin' at you? Yes. Well, these mugs are goin' to buy votes, an' keep
at it early an' late. Which is why I say it's dead right to buy votes to
save yourself. Besides, you're th' best man; it's th' country's welfare
we're protectin', d'ye see!”
The reputable old gentleman remained for a moment in deep thought. Then
he got upon his feet to go.
“I'll send my son to talk with you,” he said. Then faintly: “I guess
this will be all right.”
“There's somethin' you've forgot,” said Big Kennedy with a chuckle,
as he shook hands with the reputable old gentleman when the latter was
about to depart; “there's a bet you've overlooked.” Then, as the other
seemed puzzled: “You aint got off your bluff about bein' a taxpayer.
But, I understand! This is exec'tive session, an' that crack about bein'
a taxpayer is more of a public utterance. You're keepin' it for th'
stump, most likely.”
“I'll send my son to you to-night,” repeated the reputable old
gentleman, too much in the fog of Big Kennedy's generous figures to heed
his jests about taxpayers. “He'll be here about eight o'clock.”
“That's right!” said Big Kennedy. “The sooner we get th' oil, th' sooner
we'll begin to light up.”
The reputable old gentleman kept his word concerning his son and that
young gentleman's advent. The latter was with us at eight, sharp, and
brought two others of hard appearance to bear him company as a kind of
bodyguard. The young gentleman was slight and superfine, with eyeglass,
mustache, and lisp. He accosted Big Kennedy, swinging a dainty cane the
while in an affected way.
“I'm Mr. Morton--Mr. James Morton,” he drawled. “You know my father.”
Once in the sanctum, and none save Big Kennedy and myself for company,
young Morton came to the question.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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