The Boss, and How He Came to Rule New YorkLewis, Alfred Henry
History
The Boss, and How He Came to Rule New York
Lewis, Alfred Henry
New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Political fiction; Politicians -- Fiction
“My friend,” replied Big Kennedy gravely, “no matter how puffed up an'
big these leadin' men of business get to be, th' Chief of Tammany is a
bigger toad than any. Listen: th' bigger the target th' easier th' shot.
If you'll come down here with me for a month, I'll gamble you'll meet
an' make th' acquaintance of every business king in th' country. An'
you'll notice, too, that they'll take off their hats, an' listen to what
I say; an' in th' end, they'll do what I tell 'em to do.” Big Kennedy
glowered impressively upon the reputable old gentleman. “That sounds
like a song that is sung, don't it?” Then turning to me: “Tell th'
Street Department not to give th' Gas Company any more permits to open
streets until further orders. An' now”--coming back to the reputable old
gentleman--“can't you see what'll come off?”
The reputable old gentleman looked mystified. Young Morton, for his
part, began to smile.
“He sees!” exclaimed Big Kennedy, pointing to young Morton. “Here's
what'll happen. Th' Gas Company has to have two hundred permits a day to
tear open th' streets. After that order reaches the Street Commissioner,
it won't get any.”
“'Better see the Boss,' the Street Commissioner will whisper, when the
Gas Company asks what's wrong.
“The next day one of th' deck hands will come to see me. I'll turn him
down; th' Chief of Tammany don't deal with deck hands. The next day th'
Gas Company will send th' first mate. The mate'll get turned down; th'
Chief of Tammany deals with nobody less'n a captain, d'ye see! On th'
third day, or to put it like a prophet, say next Friday--since this
is Tuesday--th' president of th' Gas Company will drive here in his
brougham. I'll let him wait ten minutes in the outer room to take the
swell out of his head. Then I'll let him in, an', givin' him th' icy
eye, I'll ask: 'What's th' row?' Th' Gas Company will have been three
days without permits to open th' streets;--its business will be at a
standstill;--th' Gas Company'll be sweatin' blood. There'll be th' Gas
Company's president, an' here'll be Big John Kennedy. I think that even
you can furnish th' wind-up. As I tell you, now that I've had time to
think it out, th' case will be withdrawn. Still, to make sure, we'll
have Mole send th' papers over to Flyinfox, just as though we had
nowhere except th' courts to look for justice.”
On Monday, the day before the case was to have been called, the Gas
Company, humbled and made penitent with a stern paucity of “permits,”
dismissed its petition for an injunction against Mulberry Traction, and
young Morton returned to his career, unchecked of a court's decree.
“Father,” said young Morton, as we came from our interview with Big
Kennedy, “I'm not sure that the so-called Boss System for the Government
of Cities is wholly without its advantages, don't y' know!” And here
young Morton puffed a complacent, not to say superior, cigarette.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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