British -- Ireland -- Fiction; British -- Italy -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
“He wrote it, he said, as you left him; you had not quitted the house
when he began. He said to me, 'I saw I was growing worse, I felt my
confusion was gaining on me, and a strange commixture of people and
events was occurring in my head; so I swept all my letters and papers
into a drawer and locked it, wrote the few lines I had promised,
and with my almost last effort of consciousness rang the bell for my
servant.'”
“But he was quite collected when he told you this?”
“Yes, it was in one of those lucid intervals when the mind shines out
clear and brilliant; but the effort cost him dearly: he has not rallied
from it since.”
“Has he over-worked himself; is this the effect of an over-exerted
brain?”
“I 'd call it rather the result of some wounded sensibility; he appears
to have suffered some great reverse in ambition or in fortune. His tone,
so far as I can fathom it, implies intense depression. After all, we
must say he met much coldness here. The people did not visit him,
there was no courtesy, no kindliness shown him; and though he seemed
indifferent to it, who knows how he may have felt it?”
“I do not suspect he gave any encouragement to intimacy; beseemed to me
as if declining acquaintance with the neighborhood.”
“Ay, but it was in resentment, I opine; but _you_ ought to know best.
You were constantly here?”
“Yes, very frequently; but I am not an observant person; all the little
details which convey a whole narrative to others are utterly lost upon
_me_.”
The doctor smiled. It was an expression that appeared to say he
concurred in the curate's version of his own nature.
“It is these small gifts of combining, arranging, sifting, and testing,
that we doctors have to cultivate,” said he, as he took his hat. “The
patient the most eager to be exact and truthful will, in spite of
himself, mislead and misguide us. There is a strange bend sinister in
human nature, against sincerity, that will indulge itself even at the
cost of life itself. You are the physician of the soul, sir; but take
my word for it, you might get many a shrewd hint and many a useful
suggestion from us, the meaner workmen who only deal with nerves and
arteries.”
As he wended his solitary road homewards, L'Estrange pondered
thoughtfully over the doctor's words. He had no need, he well knew, to
be reminded of his ignorance of mankind; but here was a new view of it,
and it seemed immeasurable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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