The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. II.Spielhagen, Friedrich
General
The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. II.
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"I think not," said Elsa, again looking up. "I think that my father
followed a right impulse this morning when he told me everything, as to
a friend (and, oh! how thankful I am to him for it, and proud!), told
me of his position, of our position--confided to me even that. Oh! I
cannot get rid of the thought that it would have been better, that it
would have turned out better--for us all, if I had known it, if not
from the beginning, at least after that terrible morning. Only a
woman's hand could, had it still been possible, have smoothed out the
entangled threads of all the faults and follies there and here. What
would I not give for the minutes that have been irreparably lost. Ah! I
know I should have found the words to touch Ottomar's and your cousin's
hearts. Poor Ferdinanda! What must she have suffered? What must she
suffer? And my poor Ottomar, too! He is really not so guilty as he
perhaps appears to you. It is not your fault that you have not
learnt to know him better, that the wish of my heart has not been
fulfilled--that you might become true friends. We know now why he
shunned you, as indeed he did even his best friends, Schönau and the
others--even myself--all of us. And so he has strayed so far, so
helplessly away in the loneliness of his heart. And yet I know him from
earlier, better days, how tender, how loving and affectionate his heart
was; how susceptible he was to all that was beautiful and good, even if
he had not the strength to let it ripen in him, to live for that alone.
But it must be very difficult in the life that he leads, that he must
lead, which I also have led in my way, and have enjoyed myself in
it--all these prejudices of rank, these social fetters, which we no
longer feel as such, because we have grown up amongst them and can
never free ourselves without a hard struggle. And if he failed in this
struggle, the strange circumstances of our family will certainly have
contributed to it; and, lastly, the rebuff which he has experienced in
the person of his father, whom, I know, in the bottom of his heart he
deeply reverences. I will not defend him, when, passionate and
hot-headed as he is, he rushed out of the house--we none of us knew
what he intended--and returned engaged to Carla; but he must not, he
cannot be utterly condemned."
She gazed anxiously, with clasped hands, into Reinhold's face, a bitter
feeling was stirring in him. If she spoke so eloquently of the singular
position in which her brother was at the decisive moment, was not this
position hers also? Would not she so speak at the last moment for
herself? So decide for herself? or was it already on her account that
she spoke? Had she so decided? Was he to read her decision between the
lines?
"I always find it difficult," he said, "to condemn any one--in men's
hearts there are so many depths, which no lead can reach--and I have
not condemned your brother. On the contrary, I have for his sake and--I
cannot deny it--for yours----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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