The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. III.Spielhagen, Friedrich
General
The Breaking of the Storm, Vol. III.
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"Suffice it to you that I am convinced, not of your son's innocence, it
would be a lie were I to say that, and to-day more than ever we must
have the courage to be sternly true to ourselves and to each other, but
that he is not more guilty than a combination of unhappy circumstances
may make a young man who, in spite of all his apparent knowledge of the
world, is absolutely inexperienced, and whose heart, though no longer
sinless, is not corrupt, but capable of noble impulses. And, General,
if I have made to you, in whom I have always seen the impersonation of
the principles most detested and abhorred by me, to you, above whom in
my own self-righteousness I stood so high, a confession which has not
been easy to my pride; if I have acknowledged that the principle of
unbounded liberty and absolute self-dependence when carried to its
extreme consequence may lead weaker spirits into error, must so lead
them perhaps, as I see my two children erring now, one irrecoverably
lost, the other only trembling on the edge of the abyss, into which
some mere accident may precipitate her; have you, too, General von
Werben, nothing to repent of, nothing to atone for? Have not the narrow
fetters of aristocratic and military routine, in which you have tried
to confine your son's easily-led disposition, been equally fatal to
him? To him who in a freer and lighter atmosphere might have happily
and naturally unfolded the bright gifts of his clear understanding, the
powers of enjoyment of his warm heart, and who now, compressed and
confined by prejudices on all sides, entangled in hopeless
contradictions, has gradually accustomed himself to look upon life so
completely and entirely as a series of necessary and unavoidable
contradictions, that his death at this moment would be only one more?
"A terrible and monstrous contradiction. For would it not be one? Death
by his own hand, at the moment when that hand is seized by the woman
whom this self-condemned suicide--from all that I now hear I am certain
of this--loves with all the force of which his heart is capable, and
certainly far more than his own life; and this woman, who is not
unworthy indeed of such love, says to him in tones which can only come
from a loving and despairing heart: 'Live, live! Live for me, to whom
you are all! I have left father, and house, and home, to live for you!
With you, without hoping for better days! With you, in shame and
misery, if need be--with you!'"
Uncle Ernst ceased, overpowered by the feelings of his noble, strong
heart, choked by the thoughts which surged in his powerfully working
mind. The General, who had been sitting in gloomy meditation, raised
his sorrow-dimmed eyes.
"If need be?--it must be!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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