Now that he was near Beverly, Dick hesitated to see her. He felt no
resentment at her long silence, nor at his exile which had resulted
from it. He made excuses for her, recognized his own contribution to
the catastrophe, knew, too, that nothing was to be gained by seeing her
again. But he determined finally to see her once more, and then to go
away, leaving her to peace and to success.
She would know now that she had nothing to fear from him. All he wanted
was to satisfy the hunger that was in him by seeing her, and then to go
away.
Curiously, that hunger to see her had been in abeyance while Bassett
was with him. It was only when he was alone again that it came up; and
although he knew that, he was unconscious of another fact, that every
word, every picture of her on the great boardings which walled in every
empty lot, everything, indeed, which brought her into the reality of the
present, loosened by so much her hold on him out of the past.
When he finally went to the 56th Street house it was on impulse. He had
meant to pass it, but he found himself stopping, and half angrily made
his determination. He would follow the cursed thing through now and get
it over. Perhaps he had discounted it too much in advance, waited too
long, hoped too much. Perhaps it was simply that that last phase was
already passing. But he felt no thrill, no expectancy, as he rang the
bell and was admitted to the familiar hall.
It was peopled with ghosts, for him. Upstairs, in the drawing-room
that extended across the front of the house, she had told him of her
engagement to Howard Lucas. Later on, coming back from Europe, he had
gone back there to find Lucas installed in the house, his cigars on
the table, his photographs on the piano, his books scattered about.
And Lucas himself, smiling, handsome and triumphant on the hearth rug,
dressed for dinner except for a brocaded dressing-gown, putting his hand
familiarly on Beverly's shoulder, and calling her “old girl.”
He wandered into the small room to the right of the hall, where in other
days he had waited to be taken upstairs, and stood looking out of the
window. He heard some one, a caller, come down, get into his overcoat
in the hall and go out, but he was not interested. He did not know
that Leslie Ward had stood outside the door for a minute, had seen and
recognized him, and had then slammed out.
He was quite steady as the butler preceded him up the stairs. He even
noticed certain changes in the house, the door at the landing converted
into an arch, leaded glass in the dining-room windows beyond it. But
he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, and saw himself a shabby
contrast to the former days.
He faced her, still with that unexpected composure, and he saw her very
little changed. Even the movement with which she came toward him with
both hands out was familiar.
“Jud!” she said. “Oh, my dear!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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