Later Dick made what was a difficult confession under the circumstances.
“I know now--I think I knew all along, but the other thing was like that
craving for liquor I told you about--I know now that she has always
been the one woman. You'll understand that, perhaps, but she wouldn't.
I would crawl on my knees to make her believe it, but it's too late.
Everything's too late,” he added.
Before the hour for the services he went in again and sat by Lucy's bed,
but she who had given him wise counsel so many times before lay in her
majestic peace, surrounded by flowers and infinitely removed. Yet she
gave him something. Something of her own peace. Once more, as on the
night she had stood at the kitchen door and watched him disappear in the
darkness, there came the tug of the old familiar things, the home sense.
Not only David now, but the house. The faded carpet on the stairs, the
old self-rocker Lucy had loved, the creaking faucets in the bathroom,
Mike and Minnie, the laboratory,--united in their shabby strength, they
were home to him. They had come back, never to be lost again. Home.
Then, little by little, they carried their claim further. They were
not only home. They were the setting of a dream, long forgotten but now
vivid in his mind, and a refuge from the dreary present. That dream had
seen Elizabeth enshrined among the old familiar things; the old house
was to be a sanctuary for her and for him. From it and from her in the
dream he was to go out in the morning; to it and to her he was to come
home at night, after he had done a man's work.
The dream faded. Before him rose her face of the morning, impassive and
cool; her eyes, not hostile but indifferent. She had taken herself
out of his life, had turned her youth to youth, and forgotten him. He
understood and accepted it. He saw himself as he must have looked to
her, old and worn, scarred from the last months, infinitely changed. And
she was young. Heavens, how young she was!...
Lucy was buried the next afternoon. It was raining, and the quiet
procession followed Dick and the others who carried her light body under
grotesquely bobbing umbrellas. Then he and David, and Minnie and Mike,
went back to the house, quiet with that strange emptiness that follows a
death, the unconscious listening for a voice that will not speak again,
for a familiar footfall. David had not gone upstairs. He sat in Lucy's
sitting-room, in his old frock coat and black tie, with a knitted afghan
across his knees. His throat looked withered in his loose collar. And
there for the first time they discussed the future.
“You're giving up a great deal, Dick,” David said. “I'm proud of
you, and like you I think the money's best where it is. But this is a
prejudiced town, and they think you've treated Elizabeth badly. If you
don't intend to tell the story--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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