With that off his mind, and the need of exercise after the trip
insistent, he took his hat and wandered out into the town. The main
street was crowded; moving picture theaters were summoning their evening
audiences with bright lights and colored posters, and automobiles lined
the curb. But here and there an Indian with braids and a Stetson hat, or
a cowpuncher from a ranch in boots and spurs reminded him that after all
this was the West, the horse and cattle country. It was still twilight,
and when he had left the main street behind him he began to have a
sense of the familiar. Surely he had stood here before, had seen the
court-house on its low hill, the row of frame houses in small gardens
just across the street. It seemed infinitely long ago, but very real.
He even remembered dimly an open place at the other side of the building
where the ranchmen tied their horses. To test himself he walked around.
Yes, it was there, but no horses stood there now, heads drooping, bridle
reins thrown loosely over the rail. Only a muddy automobile, without
lights, and a dog on guard beside it.
He spoke to the dog, and it came and sniffed at him. Then it squatted in
front of him, looking up into his face.
“Lonely, old chap, aren't you?” he said. “Well, you've got nothing on
me.”
He felt a little cheered as he turned back toward the hotel. A few
encounters with the things of his youth, and perhaps the cloud would
clear away. Already the court-house had stirred some memories. And on
turning back down the hill he had another swift vision, photographically
distinct but unrelated to anything that had preceded or followed it. It
was like a few feet cut from a moving picture film.
He was riding down that street at night on a small horse, and his father
was beside him on a tall one. He looked up at his father, and he seemed
very large. The largest man in the world. And the most important.
It began and stopped there, and his endeavor to follow it further
resulted in its ultimately leaving him. It faded, became less real,
until he wondered if he had not himself conjured it. But that experience
taught him something. Things out of the past would come or they would
not come, but they could not be forced. One could not will to revive
them.
He stood at a window facing north that night, under the impression
it was east, and sent his love and an inarticulate sort of prayer to
Elizabeth, for her safety and happiness, in the general direction of the
Arctic Circle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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