Suddenly the wind went. Sounds all about her of stress and terror
changed into whimpers, whispers, moans, and small complainings. The
pond-water sprang up in small simultaneous waves which all pawed and
clamored at the rooks for explanation. Yuki stood upright, realizing
dully her slow return to sanity and poise. The storm had swept her, for
a moment, out of her own reach. In the recoil she grudged her soul its
habitation.
Now the nonchalant gardeners crossed her path, making respectful
salutation in transit. Her eyes followed them absently, but all at once
became glued to a small sagging point in the left sleeve of the shorter
man. As they disappeared around the corner plum-tree, she sank to one of
the rocks. As if she had not enough to bear already, without the torture
of speculation on the purport of those written words she was never to
see! Her hands fell limp, her head sank. The gray shawl crept by
unnoticed inches to the earth.
Wearily the girl opened the portals of her thought to the same hopeless
throng of shrouded visitors,--conjectures, all of them, moving solemnly
one behind the other,--creatures without a face,--half-animate forms
with no clear direction or purpose except to move on. What was to be the
end of it all, for her? There was no answer to that. Tetsujo apparently
would neither disown her nor relinquish his determination to marry her
quickly. It did not seem much to ask, only to be let alone; and yet in
some strange way this had come to be a priceless, impossible boon.
Pierre's note she would never see. She had not been able to answer his
Carmen song. One way alone remained open for communication, and that was
Gwendolen's telegram. She had faith that, in some way, this would get to
her. At the cry, "Dempo!" she had determined to rush out in person and
demand it. Even though this succeeded, she could not fix great hope on
its content. Surely no thought would come to Pierre but the old loving,
desperate, appealing cry, "Be true, be faithful, and we may yet find
happiness!" How the foreigners harped upon that thought of personal
happiness! It was, to most of them, the one definite aim in life. To
Pierre--dear, beautiful, joyous Pierre--it was life itself. A Japanese
is taught from childhood to look upon happiness as the casual flower of
his evergreen garden,--the lotos on a still pond of duty. It is never an
incentive, never in itself a conscious reward. She had tried to teach
Pierre this, but he had laughed at her, and said it was because Japanese
did not know how to love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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