Yuki's hands were pressed against her breast. In the samurai's slow,
fervid utterance one could feel each word fill and thrill the heroic
heart before utterance came to the lips. He was deriving strength and
comfort from the immortal ode. "'Commit then, O soul, thyself upon the
current of things!'" rose the exulting pæan. "'Let me choose my own
time. Let me go out for my solitary walk! Let me hobble about the farm
on my friendly cane. Let me toil up the Eastern hill, look the clear
brook in the face, and sing it my dying songs. So let me end my days as
days of themselves may end. So shall my joy flow on with the eternal
will of Heaven!'"
Yuki sat upright, her wide eyes fixed, as it were, upon the viewless
flight of echo. "And they of the Western world say that my people have
no true religion, no deep belief. Their souls crawl, where ours take
wings! Nippon, Nippon, my country!"
The magnificence of her nation's past, the heroism, self-sacrifice
inherent in her countrymen, the passionate craving for what is spiritual
and sublime, the belief in watchful spirits of dead ancestors, in the
divinity and guidance of dead Emperors manifest in the living flesh,
came in a flood and bore up the girl's spirit in a tide of light. What
were foreign education, foreign friendship, foreign pledges,--love
itself,--to a girl of Yamato Damashii? She was Japanese, one small
animate cell in a living tissue of race. To serve her country, that,
indeed, should be life's worth. "Pierre, Pierre," she sobbed. "I shall
not bring you joy, nor can you give to me the duty that it is my part to
bear. Let me go, dear one, let me go, and pray to our Christian God that
your kisses fade from me, and your blue eyes be turned away. If I were
only myself I would die, or defy for you everything. But I am not
myself; I am what my ancestors, my parents and my country have made me;
I am only one shivering mote of dust in my country's shining destiny.
Let me go, my dear; Kwannon will bless you!"
Slow, helpful tears began to course, unfelt, along her white cheeks. All
at once the physical exhaustion of long, sleepless nights and days
unendurable began to tell on her. The glossy head bent over, lower and
lower. Tetsujo, after a long pause, had begun an heroic epic of the
Heiké clan. The words were indistinct, a sort of splendid blur. She had
an impression of horses, arms, war-shouts, and of fluttering banners on
distant hills. Then all sounds began to die away. She smiled faintly,
and stretched out her slender young limbs upon the soft matting. Soon
she was asleep, with the long, regular breaths of childhood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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