Husband and wife -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction
It was all very well to choose, as he had done, a more elastic creed,
to fling his life's allegiance into a communion whose tenets were so
framed as to adjust themselves to the strain of purely individual
interpretation. One must have tenets to interpret. What happened, when
they became untenable? One might construe the Nicene Creed into a round
dozen different 'ologies. A mere framework, a skeleton of belief such
as the Apostles' Creed was capable of no such reconstruction. One
either believed it, or one did not. Unless--Did anybody ever believe
any one thing in its unmodified entirety? Did anybody ever give a
categorical denial to any clause of any creed? That was the worst of
the whole matter. Half-doubts and half-beliefs crisscrossed and
interlaced at every point. One day's doctrine was the next day's error.
It was well-nigh impossible to draw a straight line, no matter how
short, and take one's stand upon it, and say out boldly _I believe_,
and then add just as boldly _I shall keep on believing_.
After all, though, that was what he professed to do. The outward
setting of his life, from the early celebration of a Sunday morning
down to the virtuous reversal of his collar buttons, was the badge of
his profession. In his secret heart, as the Advent season came and
went, and as the Lenten penances drew near, Scott Brenton had no way of
telling where in reality he stood; yet, day by day and week by week, he
had to step forth before his congregation and toilsomely erect a
platform of belief upon which, in the end, his feet refused to mount.
Instead, with every semblance of priestly humility, he stood aside and
assisted his hearers to clamber up ahead of him. Once there, he knew
that he could count upon their smug enjoyment of their own eminence to
make them forget to notice whether or not he took his stand beside
them.
Of course, he despised himself acutely. Of course, he had hours and
moods when he felt that he must lift up his voice and shout aloud to
all men--What? That he did not know exactly what he did believe? For,
in reality, that was all the whole pother was amounting to. What was
the use in starting the alarm, when the whole great crisis might be
merely a matter of imagination, of indigestion, even, as Doctor
Keltridge had diagnosed it? In that case, the best, the only remedy was
work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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