American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
“No,” he said resentfully, and gathered driftwood for a fire, while she
undressed in the darkness.... He saw her go in, crying out with delight
at the water’s bitter coldness, and emerge, white and slender and
dripping with silver moonlight, from the waves.... And this was the
creature he had tried to make his wife! This seeker after strange and
impossible beauty!
He remembered that he had offered her, in some playful madness that day,
a house. A house in the environs of Chicago! Thank heaven, she would
never know that he had been in earnest.
She had dried her body miraculously on the tiny tea-towel from their
lunch-basket and resumed her clothes by the time his fire was alight,
and she came up laughing and hungry, demanding food. He unpacked from
the little basket the supper which their hosts of the tea-shop had
prepared for them. She munched sandwiches while he broiled bacon on a
stick over the blaze.
“We could do this every night on the Dunes,” she said—and his heart
leaped.
“Rose-Ann,” he said. “Don’t torment me.”
She took his hand. “Do I torment you?” she asked. “I don’t mean to. I’m
sorry!”
Was it surrender? he wondered—or some new evasion?
“Our marriage—” he said.
“Oh! Must we talk about it?” Her voice was wistful. “We’re so happy—as
we are.”
“As we are.... But what are we?” he demanded painfully.
“Together....” she said.
And then, when he did not speak, she asked, a little coldly,
“What do you want me to say, Felix?”
“I don’t know.... There are so many things to say.... All the things we
haven’t said....”
“Must we say them, Felix? Well, then—I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything.... Felix, if we had met each other for the first time
_now_—”
“Yes....”
“We could be very happy, I think. Oh, I know we could!”
“Have we hurt each other so much, then?” he asked sadly.
“It’s not that.... All that was my fault.”
“No,” he said.
“Yes. I’ve thought everything out. And sometimes I think I’m not sorry
that it happened. Because I’ve learned some things I didn’t know—about
myself.”
“Tell me.”
“I’d rather not.... Felix, I’m not the same person I was. I’ve found
things in myself I’m frightened of. Don’t make me tell them....”
“I wish you would.”
“They’re not nice things, Felix.... I woke up last night hating you....”
Her voice was shaken.
“I’m sorry, Rose-Ann,” he said contritely. “You have a right to hate
me.”
“No,” she said. “It’s not what you think. It’s something else—something
you’d never guess.”
Suddenly she threw herself face down on the sand and began to cry.
He put his hand on her shoulder. She drew herself away from his touch
with a convulsive movement. He looked on, hurt and baffled and
frightened.
She sat up, seized his hand and pressed it desperately. “Why can’t I
trust you?” she asked.
He had lost all clue to her thoughts. “I wish I could help you,” he
said.
“I don’t know—perhaps I’m trying to fool myself again.... What are you
really like, Felix?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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