American fiction -- 20th century; Chicago (Ill.) -- Fiction; Journalists -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
He understood her argument now, and to his mind it seemed one reasonable
enough. He had, in the past, sometimes argued in favour of lovers
keeping their own separate establishments. And a mere temporary
separation, for any good reason, and however in defiance of custom, was
something which he could expect himself to view calmly. But his reason
was not for the moment in control of the situation. The blood mounted to
his head in a dizzying rush of anger, his cheeks burned, and, with an
effort to control himself, he said coldly: “No, I would not consider
that idea for a moment.” And then, losing control of himself, he added:
“If you want to leave me, Rose-Ann, you can do it right now. But there
won’t be any coming back. Do you understand?”
He was astonished at himself for that speech, and still more astonished
at its results. Rose-Ann dropped his arm, looked at him, and then, under
his indignant glance, suddenly melted to tears.
“But, Felix!” she cried, and came and clung to his arm desperately. “I
didn’t mean that! Oh, Felix!” and as they reached their door, she flung
herself unrestrainedly on his breast.
“Felix! forgive me! I will do whatever you want. I will live anywhere
you say. I will be good, truly I will!”
He petted her, and kissed her cheek, and drew her inside, infinitely
astonished. He had impulsively accused her of some horrid disloyalty,
some crime against him which he could not even name, and of which he did
not for a moment believe her guilty, whatever it might be: and she had
confessed it in tears, and promised to be “good”! They had had a battle
over something which neither of them understood, some issue which
neither could believe really existed—but a battle nevertheless—conducted
with mysterious threats on both sides, and now ended in tears and
forgiveness as mysterious! A battle over what? He did not know. He only
knew that somehow he was the victor.
But how take advantage of a victory which one does not understand?
“Yes,” said Rose-Ann fervently, kissing him amid her tears with what
seemed a new access of passion. “How foolish to think of being
apart—even for a while!”
“Not foolish, exactly,” said Felix, beginning to be a little ashamed of
himself. “I’m sorry I was so unreasonably angry at you.... I know that
love ought not to be too—too possessive. I don’t want you to feel that I
_own_ you!...”
“But you _do_ own me,” Rose-Ann whispered, pressing his hand against her
bosom, “I am yours, all of me. Do you know it? Do you realize how much I
am yours, Felix? I—it isn’t enough, what I give you. I want to suffer
for you, for us. Do you understand that, Felix?”
No, Felix did not really understand that cry from the depths below
Rose-Ann’s conscious thoughts of life and love; but then, neither did
Rose-Ann.
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Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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