Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; Vermont -- Fiction
He found that he did not know what to say next. That tolerant
acquiescence of hers in what he had meant to sting intolerably . . . it
was as though he had put all his force into a blow that would stun, and
somehow missing his aim, encountering no resistance, was toppling
forward with the impetus of his own effort. He recovered himself and
looked at her, choking, "You don't mean . . ." he began challenging her
incredulously, and could go no further.
For she nodded, her eyes on his with that singular expression in them
which he did not understand, and which he intensely resented.
He was so angry that for a moment he could not speak. He was aware of
nothing but anger. "It's impotence and weakness on your part, that's all
it is!" he cast out at her, hating her savagely as he spoke, "no matter
what fine words you've decided to call it to cloak your own feebleness.
It's the littleness of the vital spark in you. Or it's cowardly inertia,
turning from the real fulfilment that calls for you, back to chips and
straw because you are used to them. It's being a small, poor, weak,
cowed creature, traditional-minded, instead of the splendid, brave,
living woman I thought I loved. I am _glad_ to leave you behind, to have
no more of you in my life. I have no use for thin-blooded cowards."
She made no answer at all, not a word. His flaming eyes fell away from
her face. He turned from her abruptly and walked rapidly away, not
looking back.
Then he found he had ceased to advance rapidly, had stopped and was
standing still, wrung in so dreadful a pain that his hand was at his
side as though he had been stabbed. With no thought, with no awareness
of what he was doing, he ran back to her, his hands outstretched,
suffering so that he must have help. He did not mean to speak, did not
know what he was to say . . . he cried out to her, "Marise, Marise . . . I
love you! _What can I do?_"
The cry was desperate, involuntary, forcing its way out from unfathomed
depths of feeling below all his anger and resentment, and tearing him to
pieces as it came. It was as though he had taken his heart out and flung
it at her feet.
Her face changed instantly and was quiveringly alight with a pale and
guilty agitation. "No . . . oh _no_, Vincent! I thought you only . . . I
had thought you could not really . . . Vincent, forgive me! Forgive me!"
She took one of his hands in both hers . . . the last unforgotten touch
he was ever to have of her. . . .
* * * * *
It came to him through those words which he did not understand that she
was pitying him; and stung to the quick, he drew back from her,
frowning, with an angry toss of his head.
Instantly she drew back also, as though she had misinterpreted
something.
He stood for an instant looking full at her as though he did not see
her; and then with a wide gesture of utter bewilderment, strange from
him, he passed her without a look.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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