MYSELF (hastily). Stop! that is all forgotten.
PRO. You lie! You have dreamed of it ever since, working at your
anvil, or lying upon your bed, with your eyes upon the stars; you have
loved her from the beginning of things!
MYSELF. And I did not know it; I was very blind. The wonder is that
she did not discover my love for her long ago, for, not knowing it was
there, how should I try to hide it?
CONTRA. O Blind, and more than blind! Why should you suppose she
hasn't?
MYSELF (stopping short). What? Can it be possible that she has?
CONTRA. Didn't she once say that she could read you like a book?
MYSELF. She did.
CONTRA. And have you not often surprised a smile upon her lips, and
wondered?
MYSELF. Many times.
CONTRA. Have you not beheld a thin-veiled mockery in her look? Why,
poor fool, has she not mocked you from the first? You dream of her
lips. Were not their smiles but coquetry and derision?
MYSELF. But why should she deride me?
CONTRA. For your youth and—innocence.
MYSELF. My youth! my innocence!
CONTRA. Being a fool ingrain, didn't you boast that you had known but
few women?
MYSELF. I did, but—
CONTRA. Didn't she call you boy! boy! boy!—and laugh at you?
MYSELF. Well—even so—
CONTRA (with bitter scorn). O Boy! O Innocent of the innocent! Go to,
for a bookish fool! Learn that lovely ladies yield themselves but to
those who are masterful in their wooing, who have wooed often, and
triumphed as often. O Innocent of the innocent! Forget the maudlin
sentiment of thy books and old romances—thy pure Sir Galahads, thy
"vary parfait gentil knightes," thy meek and lowly lovers serving their
ladies on bended knee; open thine eyes, learn that women to-day love
only the strong hand, the bold eye, the ready tongue; kneel to her, and
she will scorn and contemn you. What woman, think you, would prefer
the solemn, stern-eyed purity of a Sir Galahad (though he be the king
of men) to the quick-witted gayety of a debonair Lothario (though he be
but the shadow of a man)? Out upon thee, pale-faced student! Thy
tongue hath not the trick, nor thy mind the nimbleness for the winning
of a fair and lovely lady. Thou'rt well enough in want of a better,
but, when Lothario comes, must she not run to meet him with arms
outstretched?
"To-morrow," said I, clenching my fists, "to-morrow I will go away!"
Being now come to the Hollow, I turned aside to the brook, at that
place where was the pool in which I was wont to perform my morning
ablutions; and, kneeling down, I gazed at myself in the dark, still
water; and I saw that the night had, indeed, set its mark upon me.
"To-morrow," said I again, nodding to the wild face below, "to-morrow I
will go far hence."
Now while I yet gazed at myself, I heard a sudden gasp behind me and,
turning, beheld Charmian.
"Peter! is it you?" she whispered, drawing back from me.
"Who else, Charmian? Did I startle you?"
"Yes—oh, Peter!"
"Are you afraid of me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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