The fire was out and I had no mind to light it, for I was in no mood to
break my fast, though the necessary things stood ready, as her orderly
hands had set them, and the plates and cups and saucers twinkled at me
from the little cupboard I had made to hold them; a cupboard whose
construction she had overlooked with a critical eye. And I must needs
remember how she had insisted on being permitted to drive in three
nails with her own hand—I could put my finger on those very nails; how
she had tapped at those nails for fear of missing them; how beautiful
she had looked in her coarse apron, and with her sleeves rolled up over
her round white arms—how womanly and sweet; yet I had dared to
think—had dared to call her—a Messalina! Oh, that my tongue had
withered or ever I had coupled one so pure and noble with a creature so
base and common!
So thinking, I sighed and went out into the dawn; as I closed the door
behind me its hollow slam struck me sharply, and I called to mind how
she had called it a bad and ill-fitting door. And indeed so it was.
With dejected step and hanging head I made my way towards Sissinghurst
(for, since I was up, I might as well work, and there was much to be
done), and, as I went, I heard a distant clock chime four.
Now, when I reached the village the sun was beginning to rise, and
thus, lifting up my eyes, I beheld one standing before "The Bull," a
very tall man, much bigger and greater than most; a wild figure in the
dawn, with matted hair and beard, and clad in tattered clothes; yet
hair and beard gleamed a red gold where the light touched them, and
there was but one man I knew so tall and so mighty as this. Wherefore
I hurried towards him, all unnoticed, for his eyes were raised to a
certain latticed casement of the inn.
And, being come up, I reached out and touched this man upon the arm.
"George!" said I, and held out my hand. He turned swiftly, but, seeing
me, started back a pace, staring.
"George!" said I again. "Oh, George!" But George only backed still
farther, passing his hand once or twice across his eyes.
"Peter?" said he at last, speaking hardly above a whisper; "but you 'm
dead, Peter, dead—I killed—'ee."
"No," I answered, "you didn't kill me, George indeed, I wish you
had—you came pretty near it, but you didn't quite manage it. And,
George—I'm very desolate—won't you shake hands with a very desolate
man?—if you can, believing that I have always been your friend, and a
true and loyal one, then, give me your hand; if not—if you think me
still the despicable traitor you once did, then, let us go into the
field yonder, and if you can manage to knock me on the head for good
and all this time—why, so much the better. Come, what do you say?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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