These gentlemen had scarcely begun to sap the foundations of the
superstructure of reconstruction, when dinner was announced by the
beautiful hostess, who stood in the door, as judge Bonham declared,
encircled in a cincture of angelic grace. It was a bountiful meal; there
were cheer and laughter and polite jest at the board, and as these
distinguished gentlemen were bowing themselves out of the dining room,
Judge Bonham was observed by Clarissa to take a napkin ring from his
plate and put it in his pocket; with rolled up eyes and wide open mouth,
Clarissa looked like a black idol in a Chinese temple. The guests again
assembled in the library and Alice busied herself in arranging the table
for tea.
"What sorter man is dat tother jedge Miss Alice?" asked Clarissa in an
authoritative kind of a way. "I don't mean dat shiny-eyed jedge, but dat
man dat has got dem grate big warts on his nose. Ef dat ar jedge cum to
dis grate house many mo times ole missis silver is agwine to be all
gone. She tole me to look arter her plunder. I don't ame to sass dat ar
jedge Miss Alice, but de fust time I ketches him to hissef I'm ergwine
to ax him please turn dem dere pockets rong side outtards und lemme see
what he has got stowed erway in dere. Dem kote skeerts haint er bulgin
out datterway fur nuffin. Twixt dat secesh man und de scalyhorgs, wun is
jamby ez big er fellum ez de tuther; he ergwine erbout punishin tuther
fokses for gwine rong, und he, yu mout say, is er conwick hissef. I
nebber seed wot yu mout call a high quality white pusson steal yo fings
rite fore yo eyes in de broad open daylight lak dat."
"You must not talk that way about Judge Bonham, Clarissa," rejoined
Alice with irritation. "I am ashamed of you! What would father say if he
were to hear you accuse his guest of stealing!" Alice continued
rebukingly.
"Well, Miss Alice," said Clarissa apologetically, "It mout be dat I
spoke too brash; seems lak do ef he was a sho nuff jedge he orter have
mo manners dan agwine erbout shoolikin und pilferin lak dat; speks ef
dat white man was sarched yu mout find udder wallybles belonging to dis
grate house in his hine pockets dis werry minit; yu dun und heerd me say
dem dar kote skeerts aint a bulging out dat dar way fur nuffin."
Clarissa with malice prepense was arraigning the judge upon a cruel
indictment, a prejudiced prosecution and a predetermined verdict
evidently. There was but one plea that could avail the judge if Clarissa
were polled as the jury, and that would require the immediate
restitution of the stolen property, and an unconditional withdrawal from
old marser's great house; or to punctuate the verdict in Clarissa's
emphatic way,
"Don't yu never set yo foot in dis heer grate house no mo, epseps yu
want ole Jube to wour yu up with wun moufful, ef dem is all de manners
yu got."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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