Eleazar's words caused the Essenes to drop into reveries and dreams, and when they spoke out of these their words were: his grief is more like despair. And in speaking these words they were nearer the truth than they suspected, for though Jesus grieved and truly for Joseph, there was in his heart something more than mortal grief. It often seemed to him as he sat gazing across the abyss that his temerity in proclaiming himself the Messiah was punished enough by crucifixion: the taking from him of the one thing that crucifixion had left behind often put the thought into his mind that God held him accursed; and in his despair he lost faith in death, believing he would be held accursed for all eternity. He forgot to take food and drink; he fed upon his grief and would have faded out of life if Cæsar had not conceived a dislike to his keeper and run bleating among the rocks till he came upon Jesus whom he recognised at once and refused to leave, thrusting a nozzle into Jesus' hand and lying down by his side. Nor could the brethren beguile the lamb from Jesus with milk, and Jesus taking pity on the faithful animal said: give me the feeding bottle, I will feed him. Whereupon Cæsar began to bleat, and so cheerfully, that all conceived a new affection for him, but he had none for anybody but Jesus, whom he followed about the cliffs as a dog might, lying down at his side. The twain strayed together whither there was scarce foothold for either, and the brethren said as they watched them: if Cæsar were to miss his footing and fall over the edge, the last link would be broken and Jesus would go over after him. But sheep and goats never miss their footing, a brother answered. It is fortunate, another replied, that Cæsar should have attached himself to Jesus. He seems to say, I get happier and happier every day, and his disposition will react on Jesus and may win him out of his melancholy. And it seemed as if the brother had guessed rightly, for though Jesus' face showed no interest in the brethren, nor in the cenoby, he seemed to enjoy the sympathy of the dumb animal. He liked to call to Cæsar and to lay his hand upon Cæsar's head, and to look into his eyes, and in those moments of sympathy the brethren said: he forgets his grief. But Cæsar is coming into ramhood, Saddoc answered, and will have to go away with the flock. There were brethren who cried out against this: let the flock perish rather than Jesus should be deprived of Cæsar. Wouldst have him remain when he is a great ram? Manahem asked, and the others answered: yes, for Jesus takes no thought for anything but Cæsar, and the brethren conferred together, and spent much thought in trying to discover a remedy other than Cæsar for Jesus' grief.