Brothers -- Fiction; Didactic fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
But at that moment an anxiety of a different sort disturbed him, and
worried him the more because he could not formulate it. It was the fear
of a woman, of Katerina Ivanovna, who had so urgently entreated him in
the note handed to him by Madame Hohlakov to come and see her about
something. This request and the necessity of going had at once aroused
an uneasy feeling in his heart, and this feeling had grown more and
more painful all the morning in spite of the scenes at the hermitage
and at the Father Superior’s. He was not uneasy because he did not know
what she would speak of and what he must answer. And he was not afraid
of her simply as a woman. Though he knew little of women, he had spent
his life, from early childhood till he entered the monastery, entirely
with women. He was afraid of that woman, Katerina Ivanovna. He had been
afraid of her from the first time he saw her. He had only seen her two
or three times, and had only chanced to say a few words to her. He
thought of her as a beautiful, proud, imperious girl. It was not her
beauty which troubled him, but something else. And the vagueness of his
apprehension increased the apprehension itself. The girl’s aims were of
the noblest, he knew that. She was trying to save his brother Dmitri
simply through generosity, though he had already behaved badly to her.
Yet, although Alyosha recognized and did justice to all these fine and
generous sentiments, a shiver began to run down his back as soon as he
drew near her house.
He reflected that he would not find Ivan, who was so intimate a friend,
with her, for Ivan was certainly now with his father. Dmitri he was
even more certain not to find there, and he had a foreboding of the
reason. And so his conversation would be with her alone. He had a great
longing to run and see his brother Dmitri before that fateful
interview. Without showing him the letter, he could talk to him about
it. But Dmitri lived a long way off, and he was sure to be away from
home too. Standing still for a minute, he reached a final decision.
Crossing himself with a rapid and accustomed gesture, and at once
smiling, he turned resolutely in the direction of his terrible lady.
He knew her house. If he went by the High Street and then across the
market-place, it was a long way round. Though our town is small, it is
scattered, and the houses are far apart. And meanwhile his father was
expecting him, and perhaps had not yet forgotten his command. He might
be unreasonable, and so he had to make haste to get there and back. So
he decided to take a short cut by the back-way, for he knew every inch
of the ground. This meant skirting fences, climbing over hurdles, and
crossing other people’s back-yards, where every one he met knew him and
greeted him. In this way he could reach the High Street in half the
time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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