Slavery -- United States; United States -- Politics and government -- 1861-1865; United States -- Race relations
The mental torture of the last three or four years of his life I must
touch upon again. The most active anti-slavery partisan and most scarred
soldier of the union will compassionate if he but contemplate. I met him
only now and then. As I read his feelings--one eye quenched by cataract
and the other failing fast; his contemporaries of the bar and political
arena dead; the wife whom he loved better than he did himself sinking
under a disease gradually destroying her mind; ever harrowed with the
thought that his country was no more, and that he was a foreigner and
exile in the spot which he had always called home,--though I was full of
increasing joy over the benefit of emancipation to my people and gladness
at the promise of reunited America, my tranquillity would take flight
whenever he came into my mind. He was that spectacle of a good man in a
hopeless struggle against fate that moves enemies to pity. To me his last
state was more tragic and pathetic than that of Oedipus.
Of course his powers were declining. I know that he would never have drank
too much if there had been no sectional agitation, secession, war, nor
reconstruction. His appetite was never that insane thirst, as I have heard
him call it, which impels one into delirium tremens. He always
disappointed his adversaries at the bar calculating that drink would
disable him at an important part of the conduct. Others as well as myself
can testify to this. Near the end he deliberately chose to drain full cups
of purpose to sweeten bitter memories. With moderation he had more
assurance of longevity than any other of his generation; and he would, I
verily believe, have been green and flourishing in his hundredth year. He
lost his rare faculty of managing money. It was a shock of surprise to me
when the fire in August, 1883, disclosed that he had let the insurance of
his interest in the Kimball house run out shortly before. It was a
pitiable sight to see him in his growing blindness and wasting frame armed
by his negro servant along the streets of Atlanta in his last visits to
the place. During all this time he was dying by inches.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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