"No blurry fear," said the Cockney. "I'd drown myself 'fore I'd go back
through Gorre like this. I'm not a girl in a revue. I'm a soldier, not
a hactress. Will one o' you run back and get a pair o' trousers and a
shirt for me?"
"No."
"No-o!"
"Callin' yerselves mates!" shrieked Bubb. Then his voice became
coaxing. "Look 'ere, Flan, you go back and get me even a shirt; or
Bowdy.... Any of you. Be pals."
"Who stood by and let the ants run over our clothes?" asked Flanagan.
"Bubb," Bowdy replied. "Our pal, Spudhole."
"That was a joke," said Bubb, "but this is past a joke. It's 'ell
'avin' no clothes."
"But you wouldn't wear clothes with ants running over them, would you?"
asked Bowdy.
"I must go on in front," said Flanagan. "I'll ask Emilie to come down
and have a look at you. She's up to any kind of devilment, that same
girl."
"Flan-a-gan," said Bubb in a slow voice, hoarse with decision, "if
you'd do a thing like that, I'd cut yer blurry froat." Then he stooped
down, picked up a pebble and flung it into the water.
"'Ere, wot's this?" he exclaimed suddenly. "This, in the Canal."
They looked in. A stretcher, to which a ground sheet was bound by a
leathern thong, drifted slowly down the Canal. Quick as a flash, Bubb
dived in and brought the stretcher to the bank.
"Carry me 'ome on this," he said. "Put the ground sheet over me."
He lay down on the wet stretcher and his mates covered him over with
the sheet and raised the burden to their shoulders. Spudhole regained
his good humour and began to sing. He was in the throes of a rag-time
chorus when Flanagan and Bowdy halted opposite the Café Calomphie and
placed the stretcher on the pavement.
Flanagan knocked at the door. Emilie came out. Bubb sweated terror from
every pore.
"Take me away!" he yelled, wrapping himself very tightly in his sheet.
"For Gawd's sake take me back to the billet!"
Agitation and confusion distorted his countenance; at that moment he
longed for the ground to open and swallow him. Flanagan, who knew
French like a native, was speaking to the girl.
"What are you saying?" Spudhole called.
"She wants the ground sheet," said Flanagan. "I'm going to make her a
present of it."
"For Gawd's sake----"
"She's going to take it off herself, with her own two hands," Flanagan
remarked.
"Oh, blimey!" groaned Bubb; then, in an excess of rage, "I'll kill 'er
if she comes near me. I'll strangle 'er, then I'll strangle you."
But Bubb's violent gestures did not deter Emilie from approaching the
stretcher. She knew all about Bubb's mishap. Flanagan had explained his
mate's woeful plight. Emilie bent down and raised the lower part of the
ground sheet, disclosing Bubb's toes.
Spudhole curled up like a hedgehog. The girl gave the sheet a slight
tug.
"Pour moi!" she said.
"Git out!" yelled Bubb. "Clear off ter 'ell. Damn yer, don't yer know
wot shame is! Ally voos ong."
"Pull it off, Emilie," roared Flanagan, holding his sides.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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