The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of WarGalsworthy, John
General
The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of War
Galsworthy, John
World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor, caricatures, etc.
“Boys,” said Mr. Lavender, “you are men. I cannot tell you how much I
admire and love you.”
“Well, give it a rest, then; t'ain't good for yer. And, look 'ere! Any
time they don't treat you fair in there, tip us the wink, and we'll come
over and do in your 'ousekeeper.”
Mr. Lavender smiled.
“My poor housekeeper!” he said. “I thank you all the same for your
charming goodwill. This is where I live,” he added, stopping at the gate
of the little house smothered in lilac and laburnum. “Can I offer you
some tea?”
The three soldiers looked at each other, and Mr. Lavender, noticing
their surprise, attributed it to the word tea.
“I regret exceedingly that I am a total abstainer,” he said.
The remark, completing the soldiers' judgment of his case, increased
their surprise at the nature of his residence; it remained unanswered,
save by a shuffling of the feet.
Mr. Lavender took off his hat.
“I consider it a great privilege,” he said, “to have been allowed to
converse with you. Goodbye, and God bless you!”
So saying, he opened the gate and entered his little garden carrying his
hat in his hand, and followed by Blink.
The soldiers watched him disappear within, then continued on their way
down the hill in silence.
“Blimy,” said one suddenly, “some of these old civilians 'ave come it
balmy on the crumpet since the war began. Give me the trenches!”
XIV ENDEAVOURS TO INTERN A GERMAN
Aglow with satisfaction at what he had been able to do for the wounded
soldiers, Mr. Lavender sat down in his study to drink the tea which he
found there. “There is nothing in life,” he thought, “which gives one
such satisfaction as friendliness and being able to do something for
others. Moon-cat!”
The moon-cat, who, since Mr. Lavender had given her milk, abode in his
castle, awaiting her confinement, purred loudly, regarding him with
burning eyes, as was her fashion when she wanted milk, Mr. Lavender put
down the saucer and continued his meditations. “Everything is vain; the
world is full of ghosts and shadows; but in friendliness and the purring
of a little cat there is solidity.”
“A lady has called, sir.”
Looking up, Mr. Lavender became aware of Mrs. Petty.
“How very agreeable!
“I don't know, sir,” returned his housekeeper in her decisive voice;
“but she wants to see you. Name of Pullbody.”
“Pullbody,” repeated Mr. Lavender dreamily; “I don't seem——Ask her in,
Mrs. Petty, ask her in.”
“It's on your head, sir,” said Mrs. Petty, and went out.
Mr. Lavender was immediately conscious of a presence in dark green
silk, with a long upper lip, a loose lower lip, and a fixed and faintly
raddled air, moving stealthily towards him.
“Sit down, madam, I beg. Will you have some tea?”
The lady sat down. “Thank you, I have had tea. It was on the
recommendation of your next-door neighbour, Miss Isabel Scarlet——”
“Indeed,” replied Mr. Lavender, whose heart began to beat; “command me,
for I am entirely at her service.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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