Whereupon your brother, without a word of warning, blazed away at my knee. MRS. GAYLUSTRE. Ah, don't describe it! Suppose you had had your head on your knee! LADY MACPHAIL. [Outside.] Take me to Colin! MACPHAIL. My mother! MRS. GAYLUSTRE. [To herself.] Drat your mother. [She stands with her handkerchief to her eyes. LADY MACPHAIL enters with EGIDIA, the DOWAGER, LADY EUPHEMIA, and VALENTINE.] EGIDIA. Sir Colin! DOWAGER. [Sitting at writing-table.] I'll telegraph to Sir George McHarness, the surgeon. LADY MACPHAIL. Now let the wail of the lament waken the echoes of black Ben-Muchty! MACPHAIL. [Rising from the chair.] It's not at all necessary, mother. EGIDIA. He can stand! DOWAGER. [Writing.] "Bring--chloroform--and knives." LADY MACPHAIL. Ah, Colin, lad, why did we ever quit the gray shores of Loch-na-Doich? MACPHAIL. I'll go upstairs and bathe my knee, mother. [LADY MACPHAIL leads him.] EGIDIA. He can walk! LADY MACPHAIL. Madam, a Macphail can always walk under any circumstances. DOWAGER. [Reading the telegram she has written.] "If--in--doubt--amputate." [LADY MACPHAIL, MACPHAIL, VALENTINE, LADY EUPHEMIA, EGIDIA, and the DOWAGER go out.] MRS. GAYLUSTRE. [Weeping till the others are out of sight.] Joseph will die of remorse! [Calling.] The coast is clear, Joseph. Jo! [As she goes out LADY TWOMBLEY enters in great agitation, clutching an important-looking document.] LADY TWOMBLEY. Kitty, what have you done! Kitty, what have you done! [LEBANON enters.] MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Lady T! Thought so! [Seeing the paper.] Oh my goodness, what has she got there? LADY TWOMBLEY. I must--I must find Julian! Oh! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. [Snatching the paper from her.] Excuse me! LADY TWOMBLEY. Ah! give me back that paper! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Lady T, oh, Lady T! LADY TWOMBLEY. [Following him round the table.] Give me back that paper! Dear, sweet Mr. Lebanon! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. [Reading the paper.] Ha! LADY TWOMBLEY. Ah! don't read it! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. My friend Sir Julian's own writing! The Rajputana Canal is a blessed fact! Lady Twombley, I forget my wounded pride, I forgive the blow to my self-respect. You have won a place in Jo Lebanon's heart. LADY TWOMBLEY. Give me back that paper and forget it! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. [Returning the paper.] Give it you back? Delighted. Forget it? Oh, Lady T, Lady T. LADY TWOMBLEY. Devil! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Lady Twombley, Joseph Lebanon is, above all things, a man of honour. [Handing Bills to LADY TWOMBLEY.] Lovely woman's Acceptances. LADY TWOMBLEY. I won't take them. I won't buy them back at such a price. MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Natural delicacy. [Laying the Bills on the table.] You can pick 'em up when I'm gone. LADY TWOMBLEY. Oh, what a wicked woman I am! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.