Catholics -- United States -- Fiction; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
all in return, whose pulses had never quickened at the thought or sight
of any one of them, much less her heart contracted as hers did now in
thinking of this.
Cis was not stupid; she knew what it meant. With a great wave of
terror, of resistance, of joy, of triumph, of profound humility, she
laid her head down on her bare white arms, folded on the window sill,
and her splendid red hair fell over her as the outward symbol of the
royal garment which she had donned, the vestment of her womanhood.
For Cicely knew that she had come into the kingdom of her own self,
her life’s crisis. Never again should she be the old careless, free,
light-hearted Cis. A loss, perhaps, but at what a gain! She lifted her
face, wet as the light of the street electricity fell upon it, and
pushed back her masses of red-gold hair from her hot cheeks.
“Miss Mass for him! Yes, oh, yes! I’d lose my soul for him, if it
would make him happy!” she cried aloud, rising to her full height and
stretching her arms upward with a royal gesture, as though she at once
renounced and received.
Cis arose early the next morning to carry out her intention to write to
Nan. She wrote rapidly, at gossipy length, on a writing case resting
on her knee, seated at the window where she had sat long on the night
before.
She told Nan all about events in the office; her struggles with the
code; about women boarding at Mrs. Wallace’s, whose idiosyncrasies
she touched off to the life, with merry ridicule which was keen, yet
not unkind. Only at the end of the letter she turned serious. “Nannie,
dear,” she wrote, “of course I say marry Joe, though I’m mean enough
to be a little sorry to let you marry anyone. If you love him, that
is all. You must love him, or you would not consider it at all. He is
a lucky fellow, but he is all right himself. You have my blessing. It
is everything to love someone with all your heart, but if he loves
you, too--Oh, Nannie, you are in luck, my dear! Though I should think
a great, tearing love would always be returned; simply melt the other
one. I’d never hesitate over _anything_ if I loved a man--you silly
little thing! I’ll see you some day, before you’re married, I hope.
By the way, speaking of nuptial Masses, I’m going to cut church next
Sunday; wanted to tell you I’m breaking my promise this once. I’ve got
a fine pal here--I told you about him--he wants me to do something; go
off too early Sunday morning to get in Mass, too, and he wants it so
badly that it’s right to give him the happiness. I’d do more than that
to make him happy. I don’t suppose it really is a damning sin to miss
Mass, but I guess I’d go to hell, if it would make things easier for
him. So now you can see how I feel about this pal o’ mine! There was
one of him made, and then the mold was broken! I’m happy, but I’m not
at all sure he’d go as far as purgatory for me. Your loving Cis.”
Cis read her letter over with her cheeks aflame, her eyes wet, her
breath short.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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