Christian fiction; City and town life -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Ozark Mountains -- Fiction
"Well," answered the other easily, "there are still other churches."
"You mean--."
"I mean that you are not the only preacher who has been talked about by
his church, and branded by his official board with the mark of the devil
in the name of the Lord. It's easy enough! Go farther, get a little
obscure congregation somewhere, stay long enough to get a letter, not
long enough to make another name; try another in the same fashion. Lay
low, keep quiet, stay away from conventions, watch your chance, and--when
the time is ripe--make a hit with the state workers in some other state.
You know how! It's all easy enough!"
Dan leaped to his feet. "Good God, Doctor! I have done nothing wrong. Why
should I skulk, and hide, and scheme to conceal something I never did,
for the privilege of serving a church that doesn't want me? Is this the
ministry?"
"It seems to be a large part of it," answered the other deliberately.
"My boy, it's the things that preachers have not done that they try
hardest to hide. As to why, I must confess that I am a little
near-sighted myself sometimes."
"I can't, I can't do it, Doctor!"
"Humph! I didn't suppose you could," came dryly from the old man.
Dan did not heed but went on in a hopeless tone to tell the Doctor how he
had written his resignation, and had declined to consider the call to
Chicago. "Don't you see that I couldn't take a church if one were offered
me now?" he asked. "Don't you understand what this has done for me? It's
not the false charges. It's not that! It's--it's the thing, whatever it
is, that has made this action of the church possible. I am forced to
doubt, not alone the church, but everything--the people, myself, God,
Christ, Christianity, life itself; everything! How can I go on with a
work, in which I cannot say to myself with truth that I believe?" His
voice ended in a groan.
And the old man, who knew the lad so well felt as though he were gazing
upon the big, naked soul. Then, indeed, the Doctor knew that the hour had
come.
There are those who, capable of giving but little to life, demand of life
much in return. To such weak natures doubt means not much. But souls like
this one, capable of giving themselves to the last atom of their
strength, demand no small returns in convictions as to the worthiness of
the cause to which they contribute. To such, doubt is destruction. It was
because Dan had believed so strongly, so wholly in the ministry of the
church that he had failed. Had he not accepted so unreservedly, and given
himself so completely to the ministry as it was presented to him in
theory, had he in some degree doubted, he would have been able to adjust
himself to the actual conditions. He would have succeeded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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