Phillida encouraged his new resolution without comment on this last
assurance. She had stooped, and was picking up the unbroken negatives
and putting them back in the rack; he followed her example, and
collected the broken bits, while she put the rack back in its place,
and certain splinters in theirs, until the locker shut without showing
much damage. Pocket was left with the fragmentary negatives on his
hands.
“I should throw those away,” said Phillida. “And now, by the time
you’re ready to go, I’ll have a cup of tea ready for you.”
They faced each other in the rosy light, now doubly diluted by the open
door, and Pocket did not move. He wanted to say something first, and he
was too shy to say it. Shyness had come upon him all at once; hitherto
they had both been like young castaways, finely regardless of
appearances, he of his bare feet and throat, she of her dressing-gown
and her bedroom slippers. She was unconscious or careless still, as
with a brother; but he had become the very embodiment of mauvaise
honte, an awful example of the awkward age; and it was all the fault of
what he suddenly felt he simply must say.
“But—but I don’t want to leave you!” he blurted out at last.
“But I want you to,” she returned promptly and firmly, though not
without a faint smile.
It was leaving her with a villain that he minded; but he could not get
that out, except thus bluntly, nor could he denounce the doctor now as
he had done when his blood was up. Besides, the man was a different man
to his niece; all that redeemed him went out to her. Pocket did not
think he was peculiar there; in fact, he thought romantically enough
about the girl, with her dark hair all over her pink dressing-gown, and
ivory insteps peeping out of those soft slippers especially when the
vision was lost for ever, and he upstairs making himself as presentable
as he could in a few minutes. But it seemed she was busy in the same
way, and she took longer over it. He found the breakfast things on the
table, the kettle on the gas-stove, but no Phillida to make the tea. He
could not help wishing she would be quick; if he was going, the sooner
he went the better, but he was terribly divided in his desires. He
hated the thought of deserting a comrade, who was also a girl, and such
a girl! He could only face it with the fixed intention of coming back
to the rescue of his heroine, he the hero of their joint romance. But
for his own immediate freedom he was already unheroically eager. And
yet he could deliberately fit the broken negatives together, on the
white tablecloth, partly to pass the time, partly out of a boyish
bravado which involved little real risk; for the doctor had not yet
been gone an hour; and a loaded revolver is a loaded revolver, be it
brandished by man or boy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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