No; he saw that he would not be able to remain for long at home. On the
other hand, go back to the old wandering life he would not. He had had
enough of that and its rotten carelessness and shabbiness. What a girl
this would be to settle down with somewhere! So strange that she would
be always interesting, so faithful that she would be always there! Nor
was he entirely selfish. Her childishness, her ignorance, appealed to
him for protection. She had no one but those old aunts to care for her,
she was poor and rebellious and ignorant. Warlock was kind-hearted
beyond the normal charity of man--much of his weakness came from that
very kindness.
As he saw which way he was going he tried to pull himself back. He
could not protect her--he had the best of reasons for knowing why. He
could do her nothing but harm ... and yet he went on.
He took a chair close to her and sat down. He, who had known in his
time many women, could see how happy she was. That happiness excited
him. Suddenly he held her hand. She did not remove it.
"Look here," he began, and he was surprised at the hoarseness of his
voice, "your uncle will be back in a moment, and we never have a chance
of being alone. I've wanted to talk to you ever since I first saw you."
He felt her hand move in his. That stir was so helpless that he
suddenly determined to be honest.
"I think you'll trust me, won't you?" he asked.
"Yes," she said.
"Well, you mustn't," he went on hurriedly, his eyes on the door. "I'm
not worse, I suppose, than other men, but all the same I'm not to be
trusted. And when I say I'm not to be trusted I mean that I myself
don't know whether I'll keep my word from one minute to another. I'm
sure you don't know very much about men. I could see it at once from
the way you spoke."
She looked up, her clear, unconfused, unquestioning eyes facing him.
"I knew my father well," she said. "We were quite alone for years
together. And then Uncle Mathew--"
"Oh, your father, your uncle," he answered quickly. "They don't count.
What I mean is that you mustn't think men are scoundrels just because
they act badly. I swear that nine out of ten of them never mean to do
any harm."
"And they think they're speaking the truth at the time. But anything
'does' for them and then they're in a mess, and all they think about is
how to get out of it. Then it's every man for himself ..."
Maggie shook her head.
"I've always known that I'd have to manage for myself," she said. "I've
never expected any one to do anything for me, so I'm not likely to be
disappointed now."
He moved a little closer to her and held her hand more firmly; even as
he did so something in his heart reproached him, but now the reproach
was very far away, like an echo of some earlier voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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