When, in the quieter light of the morning, she considered the event,
she had no doubts nor hesitations. She loved Martin and Martin loved
her. Soon Martin would marry her and they would go away. Her aunt would
be sorry of course, and his father, perhaps, would be angry, but the
sorrow and anger would be only for a little while. Then Martin and she
would live happily together always--happily because they were both
sensible people, and her own standard of fidelity and trust was, she
supposed, also his. She did not think very deeply about what he had
said to her; it only meant that he wanted to escape from his family, a
desire in which she could completely sympathise. She had loved him, as
she now saw, from the first moment of meeting, and she would love him
always. She would never be alone again, and although Martin had told
her that he was weak, and she knew something about men, she was aware
that their love for one another would be a thing apart, constant,
unfaltering, eternal. She had read no modern fiction; she knew nothing
about psychology: she was absolutely happy ...
And then in that very first day she discovered that life was not quite
so simple. In the first place, she wanted Martin desperately and he did
not come; and although she had at once a thousand sensible reasons for
the impossibility of his coming, nevertheless strange new troubles and
suspicions that she had never known before rose in her heart. She had
only kissed him once; he had only held her in his arms for a few
moments ...She waited, looking from behind the drawing-room curtains
out into the street. How could he let the whole day go by? He was
prevented, perhaps, by that horrible sister of his. When the dusk came
and the muffin-man went ringing his bell down the street she felt
exhausted as though she had been running for miles ...
Then with sudden guilty realisation of the absorption that had held her
all day she wondered how much her aunt had noticed.
During the afternoon when she had been watching the streets from behind
the curtain Aunt Elizabeth had sat sewing, Thomas the cat lumped before
the fire, the whole room bathed in afternoon silence. Maggie had
watched as though hypnotized by the street itself, marking the long
squares of light, the pools of shadow, the lamp-posts, the public-house
at the corner, the little grocer's shop with cases of oranges piled
outside the door, the windows on the second floor of the dressmaker's,
through which you could see a dummy-figure and a young woman with a
pale face and shiny black hair, who came and glanced out once and
again, as though to reassure herself that the gay world was still there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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