She suddenly started to run up the black stairs, stumbled, ran faster
through the passage under the picture of the armed men, arrived at last
in her room, breathless.
During her undressing she stopped sometimes to listen. Her aunt's
bedroom was on the floor below hers, and she certainly could hear
nothing through the closed doors, and yet she fancied, as she stood
there, that the sound of sobbing came up to her and, twice, a sharp cry.
"I suppose I'm terribly selfish," she thought, "I ought to want to go
and help Aunt Anne, and I don't." No, she didn't. She wanted to run
away from the house, miles and miles and miles. She climbed into bed
and thought of her escape. If Miss Trenchard did not answer her letter,
then she could go off to Uncle Mathew, greatly though she disliked the
thought of that; then she could live on her three hundred pounds and
look about until she found work or Martin came for her.
But so ignorant was she of the world that she did not in the least know
how she could get her three hundred pounds. But Uncle Mathew would
know. She thought of him standing in the doorway at the hotel, holding
up a glass, then she thought of Martin, and so fell asleep.
She woke suddenly to find some one standing in her open doorway and
holding up a candle. That some one was old Martha, looking strange
enough in a nightdress, her scanty grey hairs untidily about her neck
and a dirty red shawl over her shoulders. Maggie blinked at the light
and sat up in bed.
"What is it?" she asked.
"It's your aunt, Miss--Miss Anne. She's very bad. She wants you to go
to her."
Maggie got out of bed, put on her dressing-gown and slippers and
followed the servant.
As she hurried along the dark passage she was still only half-awake;
her soul had not returned into her body, but her body was awake and
vibrating with the knowledge that the soul was soon coming to it, and
coming to it with great news, with the consciousness of a marvellous
experience. For at the instant when Martha awoke her she had been
dreaming of Martin, dreaming of him physically, so that it was his body
against hers, his hand hot and dry in hers cool and soft, his cheek
rough and strong against hers smooth and pale. There had been no
sentimentality or weakness in her dream. They had been confident and
sure and defiant together, and it had been real life for her, so real
that this dream life in which now she moved down the shadowy passage
was about her as green water is about one when one swims under waves.
It was only slowly, as the cold air of the house at night cleared her
eyes and her throat and her breast, that she came to the world
consciousness again and surrendered her lover back to the shades and
felt a sudden frightened fear lest, after all, she should never really
know that ecstasy of which she had just been dreaming.
Nevertheless it was still with a great consciousness of Martin that she
entered her aunt's bedroom. Before she entered she turned round for a
moment to Martha.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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