He was in Garrick Street, outside the curiosity shop, his latchkey in
his hand. He stopped and stared down the street as he had done once
before, weeks ago. Was not the root of all his trouble simply this,
that he was becoming against his will interested, drawn in? That there
were things going on that his common sense rejected as nonsense, but
that nevertheless were throwing out feelers like the twisting threats
of an octopus, touching him now, only faintly, here for a second, there
for a second, but fascinating, holding him so that he could not run
away? Granted that Thurston was a charlatan, Miss Avies a humbug, his
sister a fool, his father a dreamer, Crashaw a fanatic, did that mean
that the power behind them all was sham? Was that force that he had
felt when he was a child simply eager superstition? What was behind
this street, this moon, these hurrying figures, his own daily life and
thoughts? Was there really a vast conspiracy, a huge involving plot
moving under the cardboard surface of the world, a plot that he had by
an accident of birth spied upon and discovered?
Always, every day now, thoughts, suspicions, speculations were coming
upon him, uninvited, undesired, from somewhere, from some one. He did
not want them he wanted only the material physical life of the ordinary
man. It must be because he was idling. He would get work at once, join
with some one in the City, go abroad again ... but perhaps even then he
would not escape. Thoughts like those of the last weeks did not depend
for their urgency on place or time. And Maggie, she was mixed up in it
all. He was aware, as he hesitated before opening the door, of the
strangest feeling of belonging to her, not love, nor passion, not
sentiment even. Only as though he had suddenly realised that with new
perils he had received also new protection.
He went upstairs with a feeling that he was on the eve of events that
would change his whole world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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