But for them he did not care; it was his father of whom he must think.
Here, too, there was a mystery from which he was deliberately kept. He
knew, of course, that they were all expecting some crisis; as the days
advanced he could feel that the excitement increased. He knew that his
father had declared that he had visions and that there was to be a
revelation very shortly; but of these visions and this revelation he
heard only indirectly from others. His father said nothing to him of
these things, and at the ordinary Chapel services on Sunday there was
no allusion to them. He knew that the Inside Saints had a society and
rules of their own inside the larger body, and from that inner society
he was quite definitely excluded. Of that exclusion he would have been
only too glad had it not been for his father, but now when he saw him
growing from day to day more haggard and worn, more aloof from all
human society, when lie saw him wrapped further and further into some
strange and as it seemed to him insane absorption, he was determined to
fight his way into the heart of it. His growing intimacy with Maggie
had relieved him, for a moment, of the intensity of this other anxiety.
Now suddenly he was flung back into the very thick of it. His earlier
plan of forcing his father out of all this network of chicanery and
charlatanism now returned. He felt that if he could only seize his
father and forcibly abduct him and take him away from Amy and Thurston
and the rest, and all the associations of the Chapel, he might cure him
and lead him back to health and happiness again.
And yet he did not know. He had not himself escaped from it all by
leaving it, and then that undermining bewildering suspicion that
perhaps after all there was something in all of this, that it was not
only charlatanism, confused and disconcerted him. He was like a man who
hears sounds and faint cries behind a thick wall, and there are no
doors and windows, and the bricks are too stout to be torn apart.
He had been behind that wall all his life ...
Amy's allusion to Maggie in the morning had been very slight, but had
shown quite clearly that she had heard all, and probably more, than the
truth. When he returned that morning he found his mother alone,
knitting a pink woollen comforter, her gold spectacles on the end of
her nose, her fresh lace cap crisp and dainty on her white hair--the
very picture of the dearest old lady in the world.
"Mother," he began at once, "what did Amy mean this morning about
myself and Maggie Cardinal?"
"Maggie who, dear?" his mother asked.
"Maggie Cardinal--the Cardinal niece, you know," he said impatiently.
"Did she say anything? I don't remember."
"Yes, mother. You remember perfectly well. She said that they were all
talking about me and Maggie."
"Did she?" The old lady slowly counted her stitches. "Well, dear, I
shouldn't worry about what they all say--whoever 'they' may be."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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