Germans -- Travel -- England -- Kent -- Fiction; Humorous stories
But (luckily) _autres temps autres mœurs_, as our unbalanced but
sometimes felicitous neighbours across the Vosges say, and next morning
the poetry of the party was, thank heaven, clogged by porridge.
It always was at breakfast. They were strangely hilarious then, but
never poetic. Poetry developed later in the day as the sun and their
spirits sank together, and flourished at its full growth when there were
stars or a moon. That morning, our first Sunday, a fresh breeze blew up
from the Weald below and a cloudless sun dazzled us as it fell on the
white cloth of the table set out in the middle of the field by
somebody--I expect it was Mrs. Menzies-Legh--who wanted to make the most
of the sun, and we had to hold on our hats with one hand and shade our
eyes with the other while we ate.
Uncomfortable? Of course it was uncomfortable. Let no one who loves to
be comfortable ever caravan. Neither let any one who loves order and
decency do so. They may take it from me that there is never any order,
and even less frequently is there any decency. I can give you an
example from that Sunday morning. I was sitting at the table with the
ladies, on a seat (as usual) too low for me, and that (also as usual)
slanted on the uneven ground, with my feet slightly too cold in the damp
grass and my head slightly too hot in the bright sun, and the general
feeling of subtle discomfort and ruffledness that is one of the
principal characteristics of this form of pleasure-taking, when I saw
(and so did the ladies) Jellaby emerge from his tent--in his shirt
sleeves if you please--and fastening up a mirror on the roof of his
canvas lair proceed then and there in the middle of the field to lather
his face and then to shave it.
Edelgard, of course, true to her early training, at once cast down her
eyes and was careful to keep them averted during the remainder of the
meal, but nobody else seemed to mind; indeed, Mrs. Menzies-Legh got out
her camera and focussing him with deliberate care snap-shotted him.
Were these people getting blunted as the days passed to the refinements
and necessary precautions of social intercourse? I had been stirred to
much silent indignation by the habit of the gentlemen of walking in
their shirt sleeves, and had not yet got used to that, but to see
Jellaby dressing in an open field was a little more than I could endure
in silence. For if, I asked myself rapidly, Jellaby dresses (shaving
being a part of dressing) out-of-doors in the morning, what is to
prevent his doing the opposite in the evening? Where is the line? Where
is the logical limit? We had now been three days out, and we had already
got to this. Where, I thought, should we have got to in another six?
Where should we be by, say, the following Sunday?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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