Germans -- Travel -- England -- Kent -- Fiction; Humorous stories
She used to study maps, and walk with one under her arm out of which she
read aloud the names of the places we were supposed to be at; and just
as we had settled down to believe it we would come to some flatly
contradictory signpost which talked of quite different places, places we
had been told were remote and in an altogether different direction.
“It doesn’t matter,” she would say, with a smile in which I, at least,
never joined, for I have my own opinions of petticoat government--“the
great thing is to go on.”
So we went on; and it was she who made us suddenly turn off southward
after Frant, leaving a fairly comfortable highroad for the vicissitudes
of narrow and hilly lanes.
“Lanes,” said she, “are infinitely prettier.”
I dare say. They are also generally hillier, and so narrow that once a
caravan is in one on it has to go whatever happens, trusting to luck not
to meet anything else on wheels till it reaches, after many anxieties,
the haven of another highroad. This lane ran deep between towering
hedges and did not leave off again for five miles, and none of you
would believe how long it took us to do those five miles because none of
you know--how should you?--what the getting of caravans up hills by
means of tracing is. We had, thanks to Mrs. Menzies-Legh’s desire for
the pretty (unsatisfied I am glad to say on that occasion, because the
so-called sea-mist clung close round us like a wet gray cloak)--we had
got into an almost mountainous lane. We were tracing the whole time,
dragging each caravan up each hill in turn, leaving it solitary at the
top and returning with all three horses for the next one left meanwhile
at the bottom. I never saw such an endless succession of hills. If
tracing does not teach a man patience what, I would like to know, will?
At first, on finding my horse removed and harnessed on to the Ailsa, I
thought I would get inside the Elsa and stretch myself on the yellow box
and wait there quietly smoking till the horse came back again; but I
found Edelgard inside, blocking it up and preparing to mend her
stockings.
This was unpleasant, for I had hardly spoken to her, and then only with
the chilliest politeness, since her behaviour on the evening by the
Medway; yet, determined to be master in my own (so to speak) house, I
would have carried out my intention if Menzies-Legh’s voice, which I
thought had gone up the hill, had not been heard quite close outside
asking where I was.
I warned my wife by means of a hasty enjoining finger to keep silence.
Will it be believed that she looked at me, said “Why should you not
help?” opened the window, and called out that I was there?
“Come and give us a hand, Baron,” said Menzies-Legh from outside. “It’s
a very stiff pull--we’ll have to push behind as well, and want what help
we’ve got.”
“Certainly,” said I, all apparent ready bustle; but I shot a very
expressive brief glance at Edelgard as I went out.
She, however, pretended to be absorbed in her sewing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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