And she had _understood_, she had realised his motive--this he knew and felt, but took no comfort from the thought. And Katherine, with half an hour to herself, looked for and found that passage on page fifty-four of "Abelard and Héloise" and she read: I remove to a distance from your person with an intention of avoiding you as an enemy. And yet I incessantly seek for you in my mind--I recall your image in my memory and in such different disquietudes I betray and contradict myself.--I hate you!--I love you! Shame presses me on all sides. I am at this moment afraid I should seem more indifferent than you are, and yet I am ashamed to discover my trouble. Well--if he felt like that--what could be the end? CHAPTER XXXI London seemed very noisy and tumultuous to Katherine when they returned to Berkeley Square, and the routine of her work came almost as a relief. What would be the outcome of this visit to Valfreyne? She could not guess. That the Duke loved her she knew--but with what kind of love? With an almighty passion which one day would break all barriers and seek for fulfilment? Or with a restrained emotion which, when the temptation of her presence was removed, would settle down? But of what matter really whether he loved her with the one or the other, since both were equally forbidden and useless! And she?--What were her feelings? She knew in her heart that if she were to permit herself to indulge in natural emotion, she could shower upon him a love that in its white heat of devotion and passion would make that which she had formerly given to Lord Algy appear but a puny schoolgirl thing. She must not give way to any such feelings, though; the pain was quite bitter enough as it was--and nothing but stern discipline of mind and an iron self-control could make it bearable at all. She felt restless during that week--on tenterhooks to know if she should see the Duke; hot and cold as she went into a room. But he did not come and she heard casually that he was still at Valfreyne. And on Saturday morning they went down to Blissington until the Monday afternoon, as was their custom at each week-end. Lady Garribardine watched Katherine critically and knew that she was suffering, and so she was unusually kind and witty and sarcastic, and acted as a tonic. She had a shrewd way of looking at men and things which always delighted Katherine, and they seemed to grow closer friends than ever.