England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Love stories; Social classes -- England -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
to improve myself, always to be perfectly true and finally to obtain the
height of my ambition. Things went on in this way for a year and a half,
Lady Garribardine always helping me and encouraging my education until
we became deep and intimate friends. But the goal never seemed to come
in view until I went to the House of Lords that day and saw you and
heard you speak. In a lightning flash the object of all my striving
seemed revealed to me, and I began to lay my plans, but with some
unusual excitement, because something in you had aroused an emotion in
my heart, the meaning of which I could not then determine. That night I
went to the theatre with my sister and there saw in the stalls Lord
Algy, returned from Egypt, I suppose, on leave. The sight of him moved
me, I felt cold and sick, but I realised once for all that my feeling
for him had been only physical, and was passing away.
"I had arranged with Mr. Strobridge to have the dinner, and to let me
meet you, not as the secretary, because I knew that your unconscious
prejudice would be insurmountable then. And I thought that if you liked
me that night, afterwards the prejudice might not be so deep when you
did know my real position.--You will remember what followed, but the
second part of the story begins with the afternoon you came into the
schoolroom. Until then I had never had a backward thought or regret or
worry about Lord Algy. I was only glad to have had the experience, that
was all. But after I had told you of my life and parentage, you bent
down and kissed my hand. And from that moment doubts began to trouble
me. You had started the awakening of my soul. And as love grew and grew,
so the blackness of the shadow increased. I knew that if I deceived you
I should only draw unhappiness and never respect myself. Where love is
there can be no deceit--and so at last even before I went to Valfreyne I
put all thoughts of you from me. Although each day you seemed to grow
more dear--until I knew that you meant everything to me and were my wild
and passionate desire--I saw that my position in life held you back, and
I was almost glad that it should be so--because I knew that if you
should really love me, and conquer your prejudice against my class, it
would come to this, that I must tell you the truth and that it would
part us forever. And I have tried to prevent you from telling me of your
love, I have tried to restrain my own for you, but now I am left
defenceless--I love you, but I realise that what I did in the past the
world could never forgive, and so I must pay the price of my own action,
and say an eternal farewell."
Her voice died away in a sob, and she did not then look at the Duke's
face; his hand had grown nerveless in its clasp and she drew hers away
from him, and rose slowly to her feet. The awful moment was over, the
story was done--she had been true to herself and had lost her love--and
now she must have courage to behave with dignity and go back to the
house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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