The Catholic World, Vol. 21, April, 1875, to September, 1875: A Monthly Magazine of General Literature and ScienceVarious
Religion
The Catholic World, Vol. 21, April, 1875, to September, 1875: A Monthly Magazine of General Literature and Science
Various
Catholic Church -- Periodicals
He told me that the day I left Dieppe news came of the wreck of a
fishing-smack having floated into the harbor of St. Valéry. The police
were on the alert, and went at once to inspect the boat. It had capsized,
and had drifted ashore, after knocking about on the high seas no one
could say how many days; but it bore the name of a fisherman who had been
seen in the neighborhood about ten days before. There was nothing in the
boat, of course, that could give any indication as to what had become of
its owner or how the accident had occurred. About two days later the body
of a woman was washed ashore almost on the same spot; the police, still
on the _qui-vive_, went down to see it, and at once telegraphed for my
uncle. The body was lying at the _morgue_ of St. Valéry; it was already
decomposing, but the work of destruction was not far enough advanced
to admit of doubt as to the identity. The long, dark hair was dripping
with the slime of the sea, and tangled like a piece of sea-weed; but the
admiral’s eyes had no sooner glanced at the face than he recognized it.
I can write this after an interval of many months, but even now I cannot
recall it without feeling, almost as vividly as at the moment, the
pang that seemed to cleave my very life in two. My uncle had said: “It
doesn’t all end here!” and those words, I believe, preserved me from
suicide. They kept singing, not in my ears, but within me, and seemed
to be coming out of all the common sounds that were jarring and dinning
outside. The very ticking of the clock seemed to repeat them: “It does
not all end here.” It did, so far as my happiness went. I was a blighted
man for ever. The dark mystery of the flight and the death would never
be solved on this side of the grave. The sea had given up its dead, but
the dead could not speak. I was alone henceforth with a secret that no
fellow-creature could unriddle for me. I must bear the burden of my
broken life, without any hope of alleviation, to the end. The name of De
Winton was safe now. No blot would come upon it through the follies or
sins of her who had beamed like a sweet, sudden star upon my path, and
then gone out, leaving me in the lonely darkness. Why should I chronicle
my days any more? They can never be anything to me but a dreary routine
of comings and goings, without joy or hope to brighten them. The sun
has gone down. The stone has fallen to the bottom; the trembling of the
circles, as they quiver upon the surface of the water, soon passes away,
and then all is still and stagnant again.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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