~The~ other day a gentleman of provincial aspect was found wandering on Wall Street in a dazed and feeble condition. Upon being questioned as to the nature of his errand there, he announced his intention of opening an account with a Wall Street brokerage firm.... When the police finally rescued him from the surging mob of brokers, it was found that he had suffered severe contusions about the hips and breasts. He is at present confined in one of the private wards of the observation pavilion. CONTINUED IN THE ADS A DIRGE INSPIRED BY A REGRETTABLE TENDENCY IN THE PERIODICALS OF OUR DAY BY SARAH REDINGTON (With the usual apologies to Swinburne) If I wrote sonnets soulful And you wrote ads for beans, And I got in your section ’Twould cause me deep dejection. (My Muse would be so doleful In such unwonted scenes.) If I wrote sonnets soulful, And you wrote ads for beans. If you had sung the praises Of soap or safety-pin, And found some high-brow lyric Beside your panegyric, You’d be as mad as blazes To see bards butting in. If you had sung the praises Of soap or safety-pin. When, on page eight, perusing “The Baby and the Cop,” Its dénouement I’m bidden To seek, ’mid ads half hidden, I find it hanged confusing And let the Baby drop. When, on page eight perusing “The Baby and the Cop.” When one is just deciding To buy a fountain-pen, And in the ads one’s seeking For “Notablot Non-Leaking,” _Who_ wants to be colliding With “Wives of Famous Men”? When one is just deciding To buy a fountain-pen. Oh, magazines suggesting A boarding-house ragout, _Why_ mix your tales and ballads With ads of soups and salads? It’s hard enough digesting The awful stuff we do. Oh, magazines suggesting A boarding-house ragout. [Illustration: JUMBLE MRS. RYMBEL MR. RYMBEL SYMBOL RAMBLE RONDEAU AND RHYME (THE BABY) (THE TWINS) THE RYMBEL FAMILY. FROM A RECENT PORTRAIT BY OLIVER HERFORD] HOW THE RYMBELS BROKE INTO VERSE The above portrait is the first authentic likeness of the eccentric Rymbels. It portrays them rymbling, _chez eux_. It is, in particular, a speaking, not to say a _shouting_, likeness of Mr. Rymbel. This interesting, demented, and extremely misunderstood verse family was first discovered and laid bare to the public by Mr. Herford in the August issue of ~The Century~. As a result of his happy discovery, and because of his two remarkable rymbels in that issue, he has lately been appointed Rymbel Laureate of America. Since their successful début, public interest in the Rymbels has increased amazingly. In New York the fever is now at its height. Everybody’s rymbling it. Rude, ridiculous, and ribald rymbels are arriving by every post.