We have been distressed to learn, from our great Metropolitan dailies, that the ladies of assured and ultramundane position at Newport have recently suffered severely from the unwarrantable intrusion on Bailey’s Beach of certain Sunday Supplement sketch artists, society editors, female policemen, independent kodakers, and foreign noblemen. As an indirect result of these intrusions the “Elite” bathing dress has been designed to assuage the sensibilities of the more modest and fastidious among the hostesses of Newport. Our illustration shows Mrs. Reginald Ochrepoint and Wu, her clever pet, ready for their morning dip. [Illustration: Drawn by C. F. Peters FROM GRAVE TO GAY ~The Freshman~: “Oh--er--might I be excused from my lectures for a few days? The truth is--er--I want very much to attend the funeral of an old and trusted friend.” ~The Dean~: “Well, really, Robinson,--I wonder if that is quite necessary?--Now, if it were your father or your mother, I should, of course, be only _too_ delighted.” ] THE WISE SAINT (A FABLE FOR ANYBODY) BY HERMAN DA COSTA PICTURE BY W. T. BENDA [Illustration] De debble see St. Peter sneak into heaben’s gate; He holler: “What’s yo’ hurry? Wait dar, Peter! Wait!” De saint pull in de latch-string, an’ holler: “Now, you go! I’ll sic de houn’ dawg on you de fustest t’ing you know.” “I speaks you like a ge’man,” de debble up an’ say, “And yere you shets me out, sah! Fer shame! to ack dat way!” “Don’ argify,” say Peter. “You leads fo’ks into sin. Ain’t shettin’ you out, nohow; I’s shettin’ mahse’f in.” LIMERICKS TEXT AND PICTURES BY OLIVER HERFORD [Illustration] THE CONSERVATIVE OWL A Canary, its woe to assuage, Once invented a wireless cage. The owl shook his head, “It’s a Great Thought,” he said, “But it’s far in advance of the age.” [Illustration] THE OMNIVOROUS BOOK-WORM Quoth the book-worm, “I don’t care one bit If writers have wisdom or wit; A volume must be Pretty dull to bore me As completely as I can bore it.” THE DE VINNE PRESS, NEW YORK End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, by Various