"My companion sat down beside me, and after offering a cigarette, which
I accepted, lighted one himself. For a few moments we smoked in
silence, then a desire came over me to make this man who had lately
seemed so cold, acknowledge that he was my slave. Not that I cared for
him, but rather because I was interested to know the meaning of his late
behaviour. I felt convinced that he was fascinated by me, and yet since
the first evening of our acquaintance he had never said one word which
could justify me in this opinion. Had it not been that whenever I
turned in his direction I found that he was watching with that
unmistakable look in his eyes which speaks so plainly, I might have
imagined that I was wrong.
"Little by little I tried to draw him on to confession, guided by an
instinct which most women possess, and which requires neither study nor
thought. Often this instinct guides by ways that would seem
diametrically opposed to the purpose, but which have, when followed out,
the desired effect; for it is by subtle and unstudied opposition that
men can most easily be overcome, and for this reason an artless girl,
often without knowing it, exerts a power where the most skilful coquette
would utterly fail. Nature in such cases, is a better teacher than
experience, and many girls are blamed for leading men on by artifice who
have never even thought on the subject.
"In the present case, however, I was not unconscious, though I allowed
my natural instinct to guide me, but for some little time with small
success; for though after each veiled attack my companion’s face grew
paler, and the look of repressed feeling was more plainly noticeable on
his features, yet he continued to talk on trivial subjects, and all
attempts to turn the conversation into a personal channel were adroitly
set aside, though with manifest effort on his part.
"Probably when nature planned men and women it failed to make allowance
for what are now called considerations of honour, and possibly this may
have been the cause of my difficulty. Trusting, therefore, that it
might be more easy to arrive at the desired point by starting on another
path, I said--
"’Are not men supposed to be more honourable than women?’
"’I do not know,’ he replied; ’but as men have more temptations to
dishonour, they have more opportunity of showing off the quality and
gaining credit; yet I fancy that the great battles are lost or won more
often in private than in public. The noble deed that the world hears of
is often the impulse of a moment--some unconscious act of heroism; there
are many who can do great deeds under the inspiration of the hour, but
how few can safely meet temptation day by day successfully, in moments
of weakness as well as in times of strength! The day may come when the
sword of honour is forgotten, and the man falls even before knowing that
he is in the presence of danger.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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