I assented. The news of his coming departure was a greater blow than I
could have believed possible. Having lived for long alone, and become so
self-concentrated, it had not occurred to me I could suffer such pain at
parting from any one. When we are young we experience these acute
sensations; but time makes us callous, and after all, our friendship had
lasted so short a time.
"You are sorry," he said. "We have become friends--a rare thing to
happen in later life--and we shall miss each other. But it is better
so. Some day you will understand why we lose our idols. It is not good
for man to be alone; but it is still worse for one nature to rest all
its interest upon another. The ivy clinging to the oak destroys the
life of its supporter, and sooner or later they fall together."
For some time we strolled up and down, talking of friendship. There was
one thing noticeable in Sydney which distinguished him from most men.
Superficial observers would have called him egotistical, because if he
thought a thing true he said so, without consideration for any of the
forms of false modesty which are mistaken for meekness. If he liked a
person he spoke to him just as he felt; and when better acquainted with
a subject than those with whom he was conversing, he said so openly. If
he felt that he was stronger or wiser than his friend, he lacked the
affectation of professing to disbelieve it. Yet, instead of feeling
that this assumption was an impertinence, I liked him the better for it;
it was so naturally done, so free from the very suspicion of conceit.
"You and I," he seemed to say, "understand each other. We both know
enough to be conscious of our own littleness and our own ignorance. We
will not place ourselves in the ridiculous position of students in
precedence. The gap between the wisest man and the fool is too narrow
for partition. It is hardly worth while for earthworms to wrangle over
shades of complexion, or men over shades of intelligence. Let us rather
get to business, and make the best of our opportunity for improvement."
But this manner of his was offensive to many. There are minds so small
that they are incapable of understanding a meekness that takes no
account of distinction in littleness.
After dinner, Sydney abruptly turned a conversation upon the growth of
spiritual life, in which I was much interested, and told me a short
story about one of the little children who had been rescued by Agnes,
and taken to Somerville.
I had no idea at the time how important a link in his history lay hidden
in this pathetic tale.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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