"Yes," he replied, "most certainly; but not in this fascination lasting.
True love can only be tested by those who have learned the lesson of
self-renunciation. If you wish to know whether you love or not, face
these questions--Is it for myself this possession is desired, or am I
striving only for the happiness of the one beloved? Should she change,
and the beauty, if there is beauty, turn to the most repulsive ugliness;
her apparent saintliness to sin; her affection to hatred, or her sanity
to madness, should I still love her? If you can truly say this, and
have sufficient imagination to realize fully the meaning of the change,
yours is love; and if in after times, when trial comes, your
self-confidence leaves you, such love may even then rest assured it is
eternal, because it is of God. But we see this devotion more often
exhibited in the passion of parent for child than in love between man
and wife. The reason of this being that the latter relationship begins
with the expectation of a love to be returned, and the former with a
ministry of tenderness which can at the time receive no active response.
It is ever owing to seemingly adverse circumstances that the finer
qualities of man’s nature are drawn forth, and I have more reason to be
thankful for the misery and perplexity which my love for Vera brought
into my life than for all the hours of happiness which I have known.
Much, however, as we may appreciate these disguised blessings in
retrospect, it does not make them more agreeable to pass through; and
this time which I spent at Heather Lodge was perhaps, with one
exception, the most miserable period of my life.
"I felt that it was absolutely necessary to take the first opportunity
of letting Mr. Soudin know the truth. As soon as he returned, and I had
a chance of speaking to him alone, I started on the unpleasant task. He
listened patiently to the outline of the story till I came to the
marriage-licence, then turning livid with anger he lost all
self-control.
"’I don’t believe it!’ he said. ’It is outrageous--monstrous! Why, the
girl’s not of age. He would have been bound to get my consent. You
must know that the thing’s out of the question!’
"When I explained that the age had been altered, he grew still more
furious.
"’I’ll have him up for perjury!’ he cried. ’Get the marriage annulled,
for after all it was never consummated; the thing’s preposterous. He
drugs the girl, gets her into his power, commits perjury, and hopes
thereby to live on me for the rest of his life; but he is mistaken; the
thing shall be put right at once!’
"As soon as he was a little calmer I tried to reason with him, and show
that it would be no easy matter to prove that Vera was not a consenting
party.
"’Had you not better,’ I asked, ’go to Liverpool, and see the registrar
before whom the marriage took place, and also examine the signatures? A
prosecution for perjury might possibly fall upon your daughter if you
are not careful how you act.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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