“My true love, my heart’s delight—not a look, not a word of yours now
but shall live in my soul for ever, for this hour is the first and the
last. I will not risk my treasure on the edge of a precipice. Dear,
could I make you mine tonight, could I share my dukedom with you in open
honour, it is yours as I am your man to my life’s end. But since this is
impossible put your beloved arms about me this once and then bid me go.
Drive me from Paradise into the wilderness and shut the door upon me and
forget me.”
How could she speak? She claspt her arms about him as he knelt and these
two unhappy lovers clung together in silence, with the salt of tears in
their kisses, the passion of parting to redouble the passion of love and
make it terrible as when death seizes life at its fullest and drags it
down into the dark.
She knew so little of his life—of his will, that she could plead
neither for herself nor him. If he willed it so it must be. Yet every
pulse of her beating bosom pleaded for her—and as her arms relaxed his
heart followed them.
“But let my girl hear me,” he entreated. “You shall be my care though we
may not meet. All I have is yours, and we will find a home for you. You
shall not play. You are mine always—mine only. Promise me this, my
beloved, my worship! Sweet.”
“I promise.”
Again a heavy silence. Then again he looked into her eyes—
“And if the day should ever come that death releases me from a bondage
unbearable, then I swear that before God and man you shall be my
Duchess—my Queen. And because I believe that this day shall and must
come, teach me to have courage. With your own beloved lips bid me spare
you and myself, and go.”
She clung the closer to him now.
“You will not bid me. Then where shall I find strength? In this thought
only—that if I stay I plunge my treasure into ruin. The Duchess, my
Lady Fanny,—all the chaste women you love will shrink from you, and the
day come when you could loathe me for the wrong I did you. Tell me, is
it not so?”
She could not answer. ’Tis impossible to measure the future by the
present. She too had no courage for this. Let him judge and break their
life or save it. But ’twas all shot with joy like a gold thread running
through a black warp, for her head lay on his breast, his face touched
hers, his arms encircled her. O exquisite pain,—O cruel joy—how do
creatures of mere fallible flesh and blood endure these transports of
the spirit and survive them?
“Diana—speak!” he entreated.
Still lying against his heart, she spoke at last,
“I cannot judge. I am too weak. I am in your hands for I am dearer to
you than I am to myself and as for you—I love you. But this I know for
true, that to the last hour of my life I shall remember this and be
proud that my beloved judged me worthy—were it but for this happy
hour.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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