The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's DiaryRunciman, James
General
The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's Diary
Runciman, James
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
On calm days there came sinister vessels that sneaked furtively among
the fleet. A little black flag flew from the foretopmast stay of these
ugly visitors, and that was a sign that tobacco and spirits were on sale
aboard. The smacksmen went for tobacco, which is a necessity of life to
them; but the clever Dutchmen soon contrived to introduce other wares.
Vile aniseed brandy--liquid fire--was sold cheap, and many a man who
began the day cool and sober ended it as a raving madman. Mr. Coper, the
Dutch trader, did not care a rush for ready money; ropes, nets, sails
were quite as much in his line, and a continual temptation was held out
to men who wanted to rob their owners. Jim Billings used to get drunk as
often as possible, and he himself told me of one ghastly expedient to
which he was reduced when he and his shipmates were parched and craving
for more poison. A dead man came past their vessel; they lowered the
boat, and proceeded to haul the clothes off the corpse. The putrid flesh
came away with the garments, but the drunkards never heeded. They
scrubbed the clothes, dried them in the rigging, and coped them away for
brandy.
Mr. Coper had other attractions for young and lusty fishermen. There are
certain hounds in France, Holland, and even in our own virtuous
country, who pick up a living by selling beastly pictures. In the North
Sea fleets there are 12,000 powerful fellows who are practically
condemned to celibacy, and the human apes who sold the bawdy pictures
drove a rare trade among the swarming vessels.
Jim Billings was a capital customer to the Copers, for his animalism ran
riot, and he was more like a tremendous automaton than like a man.
So this mighty creature lived his life, drinking, fighting, toiling,
blaspheming, and dwelling in rank darkness. He often spoke of "Gord,"
and his burly childishness tickled me infinitely. I liked Jim; he was
such a Man when one compared him with our sharps and noodles; but I
never expected to see him fairly distance me in the race towards
respectability. I am still a Loafer; Jim is a most estimable member of
the gentlest society; and this is how it all came about.
On one grey Sunday morning a pretty smack came creeping through the
fleet. Far and near the dark trawlers heaved to the soft swell, and they
looked picturesque enough; but the strange vessel was handsomer than
any of the fishing-boats, and Jim's curiosity was roused. The new smack
was flying a flag at her masthead, but Jim could not read well enough to
make out the inscription on the flag. He said, "Who's he?" and his mate
answered, "A blank mission ship. Lot o' blokes come round preachin' and
prayin'."
"What? To our blank chaps? How is it I've never seen his blank flag
afore?"
"Ain't been werry long started. I heerd about 'em at Gorleston. Fat Dan
got converted board o' one on 'em."
Just then the smart smack shoved her foresail a-weather and hove-to;
then a small boat put out, and a stout grizzled man hailed Jim.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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