Fantasy fiction; Near-death experiences -- Fiction; Religious fiction; Spiritual life -- Fiction
And then we started. It was a dreary hour that, full of deep and gnawing
pain. I pictured to myself Cynthia at every moment, what she was doing
and thinking; how swiftly the good days had flown; how perfectly happy
I had been; and so my wretched silent reverie went on.
"I must say," said Amroth at length, breaking a dismal silence, "that
this is very tedious. Can't you take some interest? I have very
disagreeable things to do, but that is no reason why I should be bored
as well!" And he then set himself to talk with much zest of all my old
friends and companions, telling me how each was faring. Charmides, it
seemed, had become a very accomplished architect and designer; Philip
was a teacher at the College. And he went on until, in spite of my
heaviness, I felt the whole of life beginning to widen and vibrate all
about me, and a sense almost of shame creeping into my mind that I had
become so oblivious of all the other friendships and relations I had
formed. I forced myself to talk and to ask questions, and found myself
walking more briskly. It was not very long before we parted with Lucius.
He was left at the doors of a great barrack-like like building, and
Amroth told me he was to be employed as an officer, very much in the
same way as the young man who was sent to conduct me away from the
trial; and I felt what a good officer Lucius would make--smart, prompt,
polite, and not in the least sentimental.
So we went on together rather gloomily; and then Amroth let me look for
a little deep into his heart; and I saw that it was filled with a kind
of noble pity for me in my suffering; but behind the pity lay that
blissful certainty which made Amroth so light-hearted, that it was just
so, through suffering, that one became wise; and he could no more think
of it as irksome or sad than a jolly undergraduate thinks of the
training for a race or the rowing in the race as painful, but takes it
all with a kind of high-hearted zest, and finds even the nervousness an
exciting thing, life lived at high pressure in a crowded hour.
XXXI
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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