He had time to look at her. She was attired, in a simple morning dress,
which displayed her supple figure to even more advantage than her usual
costume, and the little cap on her wavy brown hair gave her a somewhat
matronly air, which contrasted most charmingly with the pale, childish
face.
"My change is very much for the worse, don't you think so?" she asked,
still busied with the flowers. "This plush furniture--it's said to be
an elegant apartment, but in comparison to the really stylish
appearance of the old rooms, looks like a mere lumber shop. However, I
can pay this quarter's rent and live among respectable people. But tell
me, how did you discover me? I thought, as I had discharged the
carriage, and no longer allowed the dwarf, who begged most pitifully to
be kept, to wear livery, I could live here in the most complete
incognita--so long as my money lasted. You were angry with me because I
vanished so suddenly, were you not? Look into my face and tell me
frankly, whether you were really angry or not?"
She had turned hastily toward him and was now gazing at him with
beseeching, mischievous eyes, as if she no more doubted the falsity of
her words, than that he would be weak enough to show mercy before
justice.
"My dear Fräulein," said he, trying to smile, "as you have,
unfortunately, never permitted me to show you any kindness, I've not
ventured to take the liberty of being angry with you. I had forced
myself upon you, you took the first opportunity to get rid of
me--that's so natural, that a man needn't be your 'wise friend' to
understand it."
"Oh! no," she answered thoughtfully, "that's not exactly it. Do you
know that I've more than once commenced a note to you, to tell you
where I was to be found. Then I tore it up again. Silence seemed to me
wiser for us both; wiser for me, that I might wean myself in time from
that most dangerous luxury: a friend; and wiser for you, because some
day you might get tired of being my '_wise friend_,' and then the
affair would end in a way I would fain spare you. You smile. So much
the better, if you find no danger in it. Besides, it would now be too
late; you've found me again, probably your friend the doctor, who saw
me at the window yesterday, tattled. I'm very glad you're here. You
can't imagine what tiresome hours I've spent, almost always sad or
listless."
"Where did you wish to go?"
"Yes, where? That was just the question. Back to my commonplace
poverty--ah! at the thought a cold shudder ran over me, as if I were
about to jump into a marsh and sink up to my neck. To stoop to the yoke
of a governess, here in the city, where I've lived as a great lady,
seemed terrible too. So I shall live on in this way a few weeks longer,
and then when the last louis d'or is exhausted, close my eyes, and dare
a plunge--into the great nothing. Or do you believe that there is a
something?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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