"You talk like a child," he answered quietly, "or you don't know what
you're saying. If the difference between us were not as wide as heaven
and hell, we never could be anything to each other. Only opposite poles
attract each other, simply because they seem to repel. Can there be a
victory without a conflict? What you are to me, Christiane, I know only
too well. What I am or shall be to you--you will soon learn, though you
may now thrust the knowledge ever so far away. Or do you know another
man," he continued gazing steadily into her face, "who in the hour when
you are forsaken by all, when you feel more wretched than you have ever
felt before, would come to you and offer you his hand to save you, who
could again make desirable the life you would fain throw away as a
worthless possession?" A lightning like glance from her gloomy eyes
fell upon him. Contrary to his usual custom, he endured it and could
not conceal his exultation; his bold shaft had struck the sore spot in
her heart.
"Who has told you that I am miserable?" she passionately exclaimed.
"And if it be true how do you know that I would not a thousand times
rather remain unhappy than be rescued by you and your God? If you're
right in supposing that all mankind has abandoned me, do you wish to
rob me of what is yet left to me, my own individuality, my freedom, my
solitude, in which I need answer to no one for my suffering? You've
asked me the nature of the feeling that holds me aloof from you. It is
this: I've a _horror_ of you! In the first hour of our acquaintance I
detected in you the demon to whom nothing is sacred, not even the grief
of a poor unhappy woman; who merely to gratify his selfishness, would
fain obtain the mastery over everything, and therefore does not even
think what others despise or overlook--a creature so destitute of all
joys as I--too insignificant to be made useful. But you're mistaken,
and neither your heaven nor your hell will help you; this is the last
time you'll ever see me, as truly--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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