"My friend," she replied, "I believe that both you and your brother
have the kindest intentions toward me. But it would be a crime, if I
were to persuade myself that you could help me now, when I see all so
clearly, know that my fate is to suffer from a taint in the blood. How
can you persuade me to make your brother unhappy? For he would be so; I
could never endure narrow surroundings. Of course if one loved, that
passion would chase away all the rest, all the cares and poverty of
daily life would be forgotten. My mother certainly would not have
sighed or complained, had she become the wife of the man she loved.
But--I will promise no one what I can't perform. To lead my sorrowful
life alone, to my own cost, shrink from an unpaid bill and turn again
and again a worn-out dress--that I could accomplish if necessary. The
princess who had to tend geese, may have secretly wept herself weary;
and if the worst should come no one can control me. But when I've once
given my life into other hands, and am no longer mistress of myself, I
should be obliged to persevere even if I saw that my unhappiness was
weighing down another heart with sadness. And your brother is too dear
to me for that, you can tell him so."
She rose seemingly wishing to end the conversation. But Balder remained
seated and after a pause said: "So you want to deprive those whom you
believe to be your friends, of all hope of conquering what you call
your fate? I believe, like you, in the power of blood, but I believe
too, in the power of the will and the might of love. Only one thing
seems hopeless to me: the commonplace. I've not known many people, yet
among the few I have known were some who felt so perfectly well
satisfied with what was base and mean, that nothing higher and purer
could touch and win them. But a noble spirit, like yours, unhappy
because of its loneliness, suffering only on account of its inability
to give joys to others--no, dear Fräulein, never will I believe that
your heart can have no future, that you must forever remain in this
sad, cold isolation, and all the efforts of warm-hearted men to melt
your soul be utterly in vain. When I repeat our conversation to my
brother, I know well what his course will be; he will not think of
himself but of your fate and his duty not to remain away from you. You
don't know what he can do. Not that he will seek to win you for
himself, to creep into your heart in any way. But he will fearlessly
battle with the dark powers that rule your youth, and," he added with a
melancholy smile--"I'm only sorry that I shall not be alive to hear
you, when you say to him: 'You've conquered; my heart has grown warm.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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