"That was the fear of her worthy hosts, behind whose backs she stole
away. But I soothed their anxiety. After a conversation forced upon her
by Mohr, in the course of which God knows what he may have said,
undoubtedly with the best intentions, but in his mad way, she waited
until papa König and the young girl had gone out, then suddenly emerged
from her solitary corner and saying that she wanted to buy a winter
cloak, asked the cook to lend her some money. When she'd got twelve or
fourteen thalers--all the ready money the woman had,--she entered a
droschky and drove away. It's not likely that she wanted to buy a
pistol, having possibly taken a prejudice against water, for tickets to
eternity can be bought cheaper by other routes. Moreover so many days
have intervened since that unhappy night, that it's natural to suppose
milder thoughts had come. In a note to Leah, she begged her not to seek
to discover her, for that she would send her word when she could find
courage to live and a desire to recall herself to the memory of those
who had meant kindly toward her, though they had acted against her
will. Herr Feyertag might sell her furniture and piano, deduct the rent
and the borrowed money from the proceeds, and give the remainder to the
poor; the letter was resolute, like the woman who wrote it, but it was
no suicide's bulletin; I know that, for I once made a collection of the
autographs, last notes, etc., left by suicides just before they entered
eternity."
"And Mohr?"
"He came again in the evening, and seemed to have been brooding
meantime over some plan or to have had some other question to ask. When
he found the cell empty, (no one thought of an escape, as the
imprisonment was voluntary,) he became even more thoughtful, morose,
and uncivil than he's been for the last few weeks. Even the little
zaunkönig, who can usually stand a good deal, seemed somewhat nettled
by his strange manners. For the rest--all honor to the little man! He's
cared for the unfortunate creature like a real Samaritan, while from a
Christian standpoint, suicides have usually been considered the very
scum of humanity, the poor step-children of God and predestined to
misery, and have always been buried outside the church-yard wall. A
long hymn of praise might be sung over Leah's treatment of the
stranger. My little Adèle actually gets jealous when I tell her how
self-sacrificing, clever, and discreet the zaun-princess' conduct has
been."
"And there's still no clue to the cause of this desperate step?" said
Edwin. "When I think of our bacchanalian revel at Charlottenburg, and
her playing--she seemed to be in such good spirits, like all the rest
of us, only of course in her strange, sullen way--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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